06/14/2012 07:47 am ET Updated Aug 14, 2012

Speak Up to Get What You Want

Wouldn't it be great if everyone could speak up for what they wanted? That was the turning point for me. That was the point when my whole life turned around and I started to have more of what I wanted in my life. It was necessary to get to where I am today.

In thinking about that the other day, I wondered how fabulous it would be if I could teach every mild-mannered, meek young person to do that. Then I remembered that there are a lot of adults out there who are still not doing that for themselves. What if I could take each one by the hand and say "It's okay, you can do it," and "What you have to say is important; you are so important." Truly, it would be the most amazing thing for me.

Would I have responded if someone had done that for me? I don't know. You see, even though I'm an extrovert and was pretty outgoing as a young person, you would have rarely heard me blurt out what was really on my mind. Everything was calculated to make sure that whatever came out of my mouth was going to be met with approval... from everybody. Oh yes, did I tell you I was a people-pleaser too?

To not consider everyone else's opinions first before speaking was to commit social suicide. At least that's what I thought. To actually put my opinion out before I heard what others said seemed far too dangerous a proposition.

But here's the thing: One of the key success factors in attraction is asking for what you want. You don't ask, you don't get. You also usually fall into everyone else's agenda and end up doing
what's right for them.

It's not the way to live your dream life.

So let me hold your hand for a moment and try this:

• Pick a safe situation -- like with a friend who supports you -- to speak your mind. You probably have a friend that's already told you that you need to speak up for yourself
more. Tell them that you're going to try it next time you feel inspired to and ask them to support you. Then do it.

• Recognize after you do it that you didn't die. Celebrate that! Do a happy dance!

• Keep trying it out. When the voice in your head is screaming "tell them!" or "say it!" trust that inner guidance and say what's on your mind.

• Recognize after you do it that you didn't die. Celebrate that! Do a happy dance! Yes, you need to keep acknowledging this!

• Stop replaying all the nuances of what was said, what this person or that person did or didn't do. Just let it be -- don't give it any more energy and move on to the next opportunity to speak your mind.

• Don't go into the wrongness of you. The reality is that not everyone is going to like what you have to say. So what!? Do you like what everyone else has to say? Probably not.

So often we make ourselves wrong for being ourselves but let me ask you this: What if you were never wrong to say what was on your mind? Yup, chew on that for awhile -- it'll bring up all kinds of gunk -- you'll want to release all of that. You can start with the Sedona Method or EFT. To start, just ask yourself if you're willing to destroy and uncreate your gunk? Then say "yes" and you're on your way.

Let me know how it works out for you, okay? It starts with shifting your focus. Let your inner brilliance shine. Let your life grow and attract more of what you want! It starts with making a choice.

These are just some ways to start, if you want more, check out my complimentary online videos at

For more by Karen Luniw, click here.