02/23/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Networkaholism: It Could Happen To You

There's a huge trend these days for networking up a storm at various organizational events and social networking sites. But sadly with this cultural encouragement to amass people, you can a-miss the whole point of amassing.

In other words, the original goal of meeting people is: "Make your life a happier and more fulfilling place."

However...if you're always amassing, you might ironically be creating a quantity of unfulfilling non-quality, relationships -- which won't necessarily make your life happier at all!

Think about it.

Do you have have a network of truly amazing treasured people whom you never get to see - because you're putting too much emphasis on networking to meet a quantity of people? If so you're suspect for being an active peddler on what Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman calls "The Happiness Hedonic Treadmill." Meaning? You have trouble appreciating and being present with the happiness in your present -- and are always seeking new, more, better! Happiness Hedonic Treadmill Peddler are always busily reaching for out of reach dandling carrots -- no longer appreciative of the just-snagged perfectly wonderful carrots, laying in a discarded heap at their feet.

This Happiness Hedonic Treadmill is why lottery winners often return to their former levels of happiness within a year of snagging their gazillions.

And it's why you might not be feeling so happy right now in your life.

Perhaps you're too focused on Distant Dangling People Carrots -- and thereby not experiencing enough gratitude -- and enough quality time -- with all those Acres of Diamonds People presently in your own backyard.

Keep in mind: Consistently happiness researchers report that being surrounded by people you sincerely care about is the top essential determinant for joy! Hence it's important to make sure you are enjoying your Backyard Diamonds People! Ignore your treasured relationships for too long and they will eventually turn to cold coal!


Look through your contact book and find your top ten treasured Backyard Diamonds People. Remember what you love about each individual, then write them or call them to share your admiration directly. Do it now. Seize the day, dammit.

And you know what? Don't just do it today. Also do it tomorrow. It's not enough just to seize the-every-other-day. Or to seize-the-every-third-day. Seize your every single solitary day - and make sure you're not spending your days solitarily in a crowded room networking and amassing superficial relationships!


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