THE BLOG
12/29/2014 05:10 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

F*ck the Rules

2014-12-27-Justbecause.png

Quick question for ya: How often do you actually stop and question the way you're doing business? (Or life, since there really shouldn't be much difference now, should there?)

I don't know about you, but I find it infuriatingly easy to get caught up in doing all of the Things Which I Think Must Be Done.

Things that I have to do (don't I?!) in order to...

Be someone important.
Do something good
And worthy.
So that people will like me
And buy my stuff

Or, I don't know, there might be other things, but I think that in a nutshell?

That's it.

And it just makes me wonder, now that I am stopping to wonder about it --

Who made them God, anyway?

And by them, I mean of course anybody who you are listening to, taking the word of at face value, and then structuring your life according to without even considering whether you want to live your life that way.

I dunno, is it just me or is it freaking crazy that with all that we know about choice and possibility and the fact that it's the outcome that matters not the journey we are still acting like scared little schoolgirls and asking permission for how we be ourselves?

Seems kinda crazy to me.

But hey, I'm just the one noticing it and (once again!) trying to pull myself up on it.

How about YOU?

If you're not sure whether this resonates with you or is at all relevant, a quick quiz --

All you have to do is answer 'rules' or 'gut' for each question. Namely, which one are you following.

  • The way you're currently trying to grow your list
  • The way you plan out and then run your launches
  • The way you blog, or indeed the way you communicate at all
  • How often you email
  • What type of stuff you email
  • How often you post on social media (or if you use it at all)
  • The style of coaching you do
  • The structure of your programs
  • How you network (or if you network!)
  • What sort of learning you do
  • What you do to get your name out there
  • How you communicate in forums (your own and other people's)
  • How you map out your marketing
  • What you do to sell shit

Gut or rules, honey? You only get to choose one in each situation but here's where it gets just a little bit more confrontational --

I'd be willing to bet that how you do one thing?

Is how you do everything.

And how you do everything, in case you didn't realize?

Is how you're crafting your life and who you're saying you're allowed to be.

So which is it baby? Gut or rules?

Are you a good little girl, desperately trying to do the right thing so that everybody likes you and you get a gold star?

Naw... fail.

That is not what your life if about.

Some people's, maybe. But you?

You're no gold-star wannabe, honey.

So let's try this again, yeah? Are you a good little girl, carefully joining the dots of life so that somebody, somewhere (please!) recognizes her, or are you living your life like it's actually yours?

Or to put it another way --

Are you carving your destiny right now, and living on purpose, or do you prefer the Life-In-A-Box sort of approach, one that means the years pass by safely, and you do some nice stuff, and you get rewarded by society, because hey!

Everybody loves somebody who fits in just like them.

A tip for you, in case you're not sure which path is for you --

You don't get to live "life on your terms" if the terms were pre-determined by somebody else.

And those terms, those rules, those steps that you're following because that's how it is, that's how it's done, that's how we do things in online marketing, or in the female entrepreneur world, or if we want to grow our list and make a difference?

(Keep this on the down low, yeah? Wouldn't want it to get out or the entire system might collapse.)

Those steps were made by other people.

Now I'm not quite sure here and you can correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you a person just like them?

And if that's true then doesn't that mean that you are equally qualified (if not, dare I say, more qualified) to decide on the steps for your life? Just an idea.

But seriously, and it IS a serious question, why do you do that? Why do you give in to the rules, the musts, the shoulds, about anything?

Why do you keep doing scared when you could be doing you?

And don't you believe, no don't you just know, deep down and where it most of all counts that if you just did you and to hell with what anybody else says about it you'd truly come alive and unleash your true awesomeness on the world and that that would create you everything you've ever wanted?

And if that's the case, then again, why? And also -- what the actual fuck?

Right?

Now don't get me wrong here --

I am not just having a go at you right now.

I'm 100 percent including me in this mix, because I?

I get scared.

I get distracted.

I get caught up all the time in what others are doing.

I go to a new conference, or I check out somebody else's sales page, or I jump on their webinar and all of a sudden I'm frantically trying to do stuff I never even thought about doing and don't even at all want to do but have now decided is essential for me to do because otherwise -- otherwise!

What?

I might not keep up.
I might not get there.
I might NEVER be good enough.

What I'm really saying, of course, when I give in to this stuff, when I'm swayed from my path of truth by this stuff, is that no.

Actually.

I don't trust in my own ability to choose.
I don't trust I'll make the right decisions.
I don't trust in my inner wisdom.
And therefore I don't get to decide how I live my life.

Which, now that I lay it out like that for you, is just freaking bullshit.

I mean, seriously now -- do I look like that sort of person?

One who doesn't trust in herself, believe in herself, one who's not willing to stand by herself?

I hope to God, no!

But yet I sometimes forget --

I'm human --

I at times envy others --

Or just think that they know more than me.

You. too?

Ah... breathe it out, sister. I'm with you.

But here's what I do know, underneath it all and in spite of the fact that no doubt I'll do it again!

When I follow my instincts...

When I believe in my intuition...

When I act from my core...

When I do what feels right...

When I say yes to me...

And when I fuck all the steps...

Everything just --

Works.

I feel on purpose.

I come alive with passion.

I step into flow.

And the work that I create?

It works.

It sells.

It changes lives.

You know?

Here's what else I know, about you this time --

You have a purpose.

You have a calling.

You have a message, God damn it!

But for you to get that stuff out there, and do so in a way that feels good for you?

You need to actually get it out there.

In a way that feels good and right and true for you.

Y'know?

So.

A mission, a challenge, a(nother!) call to arms.

Do you think.

For today.

And then perhaps tomorrow.

And perhaps all the tomorrow's after that.

That you and I? That together we can agree --

That I'll be me.
And you be you.
And that the rest of the world?
Can get screwed.

Fuck the steps, baby. You were born to lead, and you don't do that while chasing anybody's tail.

Agreed?

Remember --

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat x

About Kat

Kat Loterzo is an author, speaker and entrepreneur and would love to KICK YOUR ASS INTO ALIGNMENT and help you truly press PLAY on the business and life you were born for. Kat works with DRIVEN women who want it all, now, and are willing to go out and GET it all.

Kat writes a weekly column for The Huffington Post, runs events and retreats for women entrepreneurs all around the world, currently lives a 'laptop life' traveling endlessly with her husband and two young children, LOVES to write (and drink copious amounts of coffee or wine while doing so, either is fine!) and she has self-published over 15 Amazon best-selling books since early 2013.

Kat's dream is to create a REVOLUTION of women willing to step into true PURPOSE, passion and FLOW and live a life COMPLETELY on their terms as they also empower others to do the same. Ready to join the revolution ... ? Then visit Kat at www.katloterzo.com and get your FREE copy of her Amazon best-seller, Think Like a Rich Chick, and Make Money Online! The Step-by-Step Guide to Creating a Multiple 6-Figure Income, Doing What You Love!