06/19/2012 03:32 pm ET Updated Aug 13, 2012

Miley Cyrus Is Too Young To Get Married

Miley Cyrus got engaged a few weeks back to her adorable boyfriend. Fine, great, excellent, I'm happy for her. But I've been asked to debate why she's too young to get married, so here goes.

1. Reason. She is 19. Rich, poor, celebrity or lay person, that's too young. She won't even be legally allowed to toast to her future at her own wedding.

2. The media. Miley is already getting put through the ringer by the media for being too fat, too thin, being a not-so-great singer. What happens when gets married? She'll have to deal with the inevitable divorce and pregnancy rumors that come with any celebrity marriage. She'll be popping out kids by 21, shaving her head at 26 and be under the conservatorship of her father--who sang "Achy Breaky Heart", no less--at 28. Sound familiar? That's right. She's Britney 2.0, bitches.

Not that I don't love Britney. I rooted for her during her darkest days and I continue to do so. And as much as I love a juicy celebrity story, I don't want to see that happen to another young, kinda-sorta-talented singer.

3. Her oversharing history. Remember her talking about her sex life? That was deeply unsettling. What happens if and when her aforementioned adorable Aussie fiance becomes more famous than she is--remember, he's in a little movie called "The Hunger Games". It happens all the time: famous husband and famous wife marry, enjoy a few years together, one gets a hit movie or TV show and they break up out of jealousy or spite (I could list all the celebrity examples but that's exhausting to even think about). She'll be forced to defend herself and her marriage all over the place, and then we'll get much more than we bargained for.

Miley, by all means, I couldn't care less if you marry a trash bag when you're older, just don't do it now.