What's gotten me through the past 10 years -- besides sheer tenacity -- is a number of friends who have shown equal or greater tenacity in putting up with me. And not just putting up with me, but loving me. Unquestionably.
But an aspect that can't be overlooked are the friends who do this for me.
I talk about a lot of things in a very public venue. Some of these "things" I talk about are things many people avoid talking about, but here I am, just blabbing away. But just because I'm talking about things you don't doesn't mean I'm talking about all my secrets. When it comes to my secrets? My circle of trust is much smaller, and the topics are often ones I don't talk about online. Think about it, I talk about a lot of things here, but there are a lot of things I won't. But I still have people I can talk to. Who are willing to build me a nest. Who are willing to leave family dinners to stand outside a gas station with me in the middle of January. Who not only make me, but bring me, my favorite chocolate and peanut butter no-bake bars. Like the friends who held my hair back in college (still have occasion to hold it back when we get together acting like we're still in college) -- these friends and family who build me forts are irreplaceable. The friends and family who let me lie in the fort are irreplaceable.
This is another thing I have to remind myself constantly. I'm not alone and my friends will be really pissed if they spent all this time building me forts to curl up in and I bounce on 'em. The few times a year that get me so down are more than balanced by the other months of the year where I'm so flipping grateful. Grateful for moments like this. Grateful for more moments when the crayons will shrink in growing hands, but the child will still be so jazzed to use them. Seeing my nephew's face light up on his first train ride, my other nephew's face light up as he figures out how to grow or build something (or just playing in the woods with the dogs). There's my latest nephew -- a whopping 10 months old -- as he discovers his voice... and his legs... and my sister's voice and legs.
My family and friends are incredible. So many times they have been my sole raison d'etre. Most of the time I don't even resent it. Even the seemingly simplest moments are too beautiful and amazing for resentment.