THE BLOG
04/16/2013 11:27 am ET Updated Jun 16, 2013

Where Have All My Friends Gone?

"Ensename tu amigos y te digo quien tu eres."

Translates to "show me your friends and I will tell you who you are". My grandmother used to say that to my mother and my mother to me.  Meaning, that the people you surround yourself with determine how others will view you.

I've found that my friends have come and gone throughout my life, especially at the milestones; the start of college, my first "adult" job, getting married, and most recently the end of my twenties. All of these can't-believe-it's-really-happening grand moments came with a realization of who my friends were. What does this say about me?

Cheesy quotes often fill your social media newsfeeds daily.

we never lose friends, we simply learn who the real ones are

Looking through my Facebook, Instagram, and photo albums, I wonder, where have all those friends gone?  Why have we let each other go? Why does did this happen?

I have come to understand that this type of change in your friendships is natural. You're not the same person you were 10 years ago, let alone five years ago. People see you differently, YOU see yourself differently.

Life is filled with many paths, twists and turns that will help you to grow as an individual. These changes make you the person you are and the person your friends enjoy being around.  I'm a very private person and I found after many years of friendships that have come and gone, those closest to me respect that privacy and understand it's not malevolent, it's just a part of who I am.  I respect quirks, good and bad, that make them who they are, just the same.

You may be loud and outgoing, love sharing all your feelings and issues with those around you; you may be quiet, introverted, or prefer to listen to your friends problems more than discuss your own. Those things, make you the person your friends love or the person your friends can no longer connect with. And that's OK, just as long as you're happy with who you are.

You should surround yourself with people that make you happy, with people that stand by you when you're up and support you when you're down. Surround yourself with friends that make you comfortable as a person on the inside and outside.

Do you surround yourself with people that make your life better?

Sometimes we need a friend cleanse. I'm not saying "get rid of your friends", I'm simply saying sometimes you need to check yourself, look at who you are and where you are at that very moment.  Are you satisfied with your friendships?

Friendship is a relationship between two or more peole who hold mutual affection for each other. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an acquaintanceship... Such characteristics include sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. -- Wikipedia

We all have friends that drive us crazy or that we can only take in small doses. If you're saying things like "estupida" under your breath, "I can't hang out tonight I'm watching "Sex In The City" re-runs, or drinking "haterade"  a bit more often than you'd like to admit, it may be time to let go of that friendship.

I often compare the end of a friendship to a break up. At first you're hurt, and feel like a part of you is gone, you wonder if it can go back to the way it was , but over time you understand why it's over and appreciate it for what it was and move on, sometimes to new friendships, to ones that make you better.

So appreciate the moments you have with new friends,  reminisce about the old, and realize just as they have changed, you have as well.

... You never know who your true friends until you... both got a little bit of money... -- Jay-Z, "It Ain't Personal"