THE BLOG
10/28/2014 04:11 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How to Find Your Own Diane Lockhart

This post contains spoilers of The Good Wife.

If you weren't watching Sunday night's episode of The Good Wife, then you missed one of the most iconic moments ever for women on television. After five plus years of scraping her way to the top, Alicia Florrick finally stepped into the corner office of the departed Will Gardner and claimed it as her own. With a nod of approval from her once superior and now peer Diane Lockhart, Alicia settled into her throne. You could almost hear the collective cheer across social media, as women of all ages celebrated what is rarer in television than it is in real life: two women sitting at the top and admiring the view.

"You're elegant," a drunk Alicia confessed to her former mentor last season. "I always wanted to be like you." It was the perfect example of a classy lady crush, such an alien interaction on television, where women are often pitted against one another for a job or a love interest. From the very beginning, creators of the show Robert and Michelle King were careful to steer clear of that route, and for that we are eternally grateful.


If we want it to be, Alicia Florrick's story could be our gospel of how the fangirl shall inherit the earth. With the real and fictional Diane Lockharts of this world, the girl crush is gaining a new spirit and evolving into something much more powerful than simple admiration. Women are beginning to realize that a successful life or career is all about casting other women in their lives who are examples of maturity, kindness, and ambition.

It's easy to admire a lady on your TV screen, but asking someone to be a mentor can be pretty terrifying when you don't even have the guts to order a pizza without using an app (why thank you Domino's, I would like to open the tracker now). But the simple reality is that honesty is your best ally. Most people love talking about themselves, and most women older than you are would love to impart some wisdom. What is more flattering than hearing someone say they'd like to model a part of their life or their career after yours?

How do you ask someone to be your mentor? Just present the facts: you have a passion in common with them, and you'd love to discuss it. I've emailed writers and said, "Hey, I want to talk to you about writing." I've emailed editors and said, "I want to write for you, so how do we make this happen?" With older female friends I've chosen total transparency and admitted I was literally fangirling over them. Regardless of how you pitch it, every mentorship will take time and effort. Sometimes people will disappoint you, and you'll get to know their flaws in addition to their strengths. But having someone actively root for you, someone invested in your success, is such a priceless gift.

Taking notes from a fictional Alicia Florrick or Diane Lockhart can be invaluable to your confidence. In fact, it's my favorite thing about being a fangirl. But having a relationship that's a two way street is even better, because the only thing tougher than being a successful lady on screen is being one in real life. A true mentorship is likely to fill the little Lockhart-shaped hole in your heart, the one that just wants somebody with skin who can help you along the way.

Photo credits: cbs.com

Follow Kathleen Smith on Twitter: www.twitter.com/fangirltherapy