THE BLOG
12/30/2014 03:35 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How to Make 2015 Your Year of Love

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The fail-proof promise that will change your year, your relationship, and your life...

How many New Year's resolutions have you made that have the power to not just change your relationship, but the way you feel about yourself all year long?

You might think you need to come up with a laundry list of resolutions, but we believe that there's really only ONE resolution you need to make.

This single resolution will dramatically improve your love life, whether you're searching for a partner or you've been with one for years.

It will help you stop the pattern of attracting unhealthy relationships, or it will pave the way for creating the change you want with your mate:

"This year I vow never to accept less than what I really want in my relationship."

With this resolution, you are making a commitment to yourself to get clear on what you REALLY want in a relationship and partner, and to do whatever it takes to get it.

That means no more dating people who aren't worthy of your love or who don't treat you the way you deserve.

It means no more stuffing down your feelings or trying to "keep the peace" in your relationship when something goes wrong.

It means no more complaining to your friends when your mate upsets you, but doing what it takes to address the issue with him or her.

It means no more cycles of fighting, feelings of aching loneliness, or heartbreaking relationships.

You will never accept less than what you really want.

What could be better than that?

Why Our Relationship Resolution Is So Powerful

Say it aloud now:

"This year I vow never to accept less than what I really want in my relationship."

The moment you make this one resolution, you're making a powerful commitment that automatically sets these forces in motion:

  1. It supercharges your self-esteem, because you're telling yourself that you are worthy of a great relationship. You are no longer accepting anything less than you deserve.
  2. You instantly orient yourself to the kind of relationship you want -- it inspires you to get really clear on what's truly important to you and what you want to create with a partner.
  3. Because you have a clear vision of love and know that you are worthy of it, you start making decisions differently: dating better matches, communicating your needs, working through problems. This vow becomes the foundation from which a beautiful relationship can grow.

For the rest of 2015 (and we hope every year after that), you are taking responsibility for your happiness, loving yourself and your needs completely, and creating the relationship that you've always longed for... not just the one you settled for.

The Built-In Anti-Failure Strategy

There's another important part of this resolution.

In fact, it's just as important as the resolution itself.

Recommitment.

Resolutions don't often work because it's only natural to drift from them. We're human.

But because we're human, we also do something that is entirely unhelpful: We blame ourselves. We think that when we drift from a resolution, we've failed.

And once we think we've failed, we give up.

February rolls around, and we are back to our bad habits and status quo.

This year, you need to try something different.

Instead of blaming yourself when you drift from your resolution, you will recommit.

After all, if you get lost on a drive from Los Angeles to New York, you don't give up on the trip, do you? Of course not. You get back on the road, with your destination firmly in mind.

That's what recommitment is all about. Instead of blaming yourself for slipping up and going "off the road," you just keep your resolution alive by recommitting.

And that's a commitment you can go back to all year long. When you do that, your relationship landscape will look a whole lot different by the end of the year.

There's absolutely no reason for you to spend another year without the love you long for. Resolve to settle for no less -- and to recommit every single day.

Katie and Gay's free relationship e-newsletter, Hearts In Harmony, explores the challenges and glories of lasting love. Based on the tools they've developed throughout their 30+ year marriage and taught to thousands, you'll learn powerful insights and practical techniques you can start using today -- whether you're in a relationship or eager to attract one. www.heartsintrueharmony.com

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