THE BLOG
07/22/2015 02:47 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Law of Attraction and Love: No, You Are Not Destined to Be Alone Forever

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When it comes to what draws people to give this whole law of attraction thing a whirl, I would have to say finding a relationship is right up there near the top, along with getting more of that sweet, sweet cash. And people seem to really struggle in the love department. But manifesting a relationship is not any different than manifesting anything else, in theory.

But when it comes to the "real world," certain things seem much harder to align with (and by align, I mean having your thoughts, feelings and beliefs be in harmony with allowing what you want to come to you) because we have a lot of resistance.

In law of attraction "speak" resistance is all that ickiness we feel when we think about something we want that makes us think we can't have it... limiting beliefs, fears,conclusions based on past experience and all that other fun stuff.

Another issue that really causes resistance in the realm of relationships is finding love is so incredibly important to us. We are really attached to this manifestation; we are terrified of being alone, and it never happening. It is hard to just sit back and relax, knowing the Universe has got this. We are constantly noticing our single status, and lamenting it.

So if you are one of the many consciously working with your energy to let in a great relationship -- not just any relationship, and you are struggling, you're not alone. And there is hope for each and every one of you, no matter what has happened in the past.

Remember you want to harness the power of the law of attraction to attain the most awesome versions of what you want, not the watered-down stuff we typically get from creating by default, not realizing what we are doing and not realizing the power we have to mold things just to our liking.

Becoming a deliberate creator of our experience takes some practice... it's a big shift.

Here are a few helpful hints to become a match to love.

Making Peace With Being Single

When you understand the law of attraction works by delivering you experiences that you are a match to now energetically, you come to realize the importance of feeling good now, and not putting all your focus on the undesirable bits of "what is." This doesn't mean pretending to be okay with things you don't like, but actually adopting a different perspective, and actually feeling better.

If you are bemoaning your single status, and feeling like you are incomplete without a relationship, you are vibing "lack" and you will just get more of it. This doesn't mean giving up on the idea of having a relationship, it simply means, that if you want to manifest a relationship in order to feel whole and complete, you must find a way to feel whole and complete now.

This freaks people out because they believe feeling happier now as a single person will cancel their 'order' with the Universe for a relationship. But don't worry... it doesn't work like that. Wanting and needing something to happen is not what brings it to you... trust me. Feeling the feelings that lie behind what you want now, and detaching from the idea this thing needs to happen for you to be happy, is what does -- much more quickly and easily.

What Blocks Do You Have Around a Relationship?

One of the big misconceptions about law of attraction is you can just ask for something, sit back and wait for it to come to you. This actually does happen a lot of the time.

But again, theory, and real world application, are quite different, because of that good old resistance. Just wanting a great relationship isn't enough if you have a lot of blocks around allowing one in. You have to believe you can truly have one. When you think about meeting that perfect person for you, and it doesn't feel good, you have to examine that.

What is coming up for you? Maybe your past relationships have all been terrible, and you don't believe there is anyone good out there for you. Maybe you have been rejected time and time again, and you fear no one will ever want you. Maybe you have major intimacy issues, and you are afraid of actually getting close to anyone.

You also have to examine if there is any part of you that fears having a relationship would produce negative consequences, like losing your independence, or having to make tough decisions about your career, if you decided to have children. Fear of actually getting what we want is often a bigger saboteur than we may realize.

No matter what comes up, don't shut any of it down because it seems silly, irrational or whatever... if it is coming up, it's relevant and a very real feeling and belief that must be addressed. Pay attention to any memories that float in your mind...even if they have nothing to do with romantic relationships, there is a similar thread energetically, and will help you uncover beliefs and feelings that are blocking you.

This part won't be comfortable... not gonna lie to you about that, but it's a necessary component of conscious creation, no matter the area of life.

Mr. or Ms. Right May Not Just Fall into Your Lap

The process of aligning with that great relationship may involve meeting some people that will serve two purposes for you -- helping you get greater clarity about what you do want by experiencing things you don't want, and revealing blocks that are still within, and need to be cleared.

So, don't get attached to every person you meet as being "the one" simply because they meet the baseline criteria of being a living, breathing man or woman. They are coming to you for a very valuable reason, no matter what transpires, so try to be more relaxed about dating and meeting people.

Realize you will likely have smaller manifestations first that show you are lining up more with what you want, like noticing more people you find attractive, when before, you saw no one, meeting people that have desirable qualities that you note as being important in a partner, or seeing more people "like you" in happy relationships, whether they are overweight, divorced or whatever personal characteristic that you think makes finding love harder.

Above all, find ways to be happier now, no matter what is going on. Make your happiness and well-being a priority. The higher you are "vibing" the more things you will attract into your experience that mirror back all these great feelings. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. You can want the relationship, but release on the desperate sense of "need" around it.

Kelli Cooper is a coach and blogger who is passionate about helping people better understand what the law of attraction really is, and how to apply the principles in their own lives, with greater success. If you want to read more about LOA or learn about her coaching services, check out her blog
Life Made to Order.