THE BLOG
02/04/2016 10:47 am ET Updated Feb 04, 2017

How Do You Know When You Have Had Enough in a Relationship?

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I am proud of the people who stay in marriages and relationships a lot longer than most. As many people know, the divorce rate is right around 50% these days and a lot of couples are choosing to wait to tie the knot because of this alarming statistic. I can't say that I blame them with the smallest shortcomings calling for breakups so easily between fighting couples. Everyone has different tolerances in life and certainly what they will put up with when they are dating their significant other. What constitutes a break up for you? Is it lying, cheating, your mate never having any ambitions, no job or career, continual broken promises, deceit, they travel too much, selfishness, narcissistic behaviors, and the list goes on. Only you get to decide when enough is enough and who stays in your life.

Relationships take a lot of work, dedication, time, effort, happiness and genuineness, giving when we do not feel like giving, faithfulness and sometimes loving the other person when we feel like they are unlovable. When we enter into a partnership with someone we care about, we subconsciously have certain expectations of that person and when all of them are not met we become resentful or worse hateful towards them. We even have negative feelings and connotations attached to the disappointments even if expectations were communicated clearly. It is a natural way of feeling towards someone when they make promises and the promises are broken continuously. Begin by asking yourself what are deal breakers for you and stick to those strict limitations. I suggest listing on paper or in a journal what you will NOT tolerate and make sure you hold yourself accountable for your own happiness and serenity. The choices we make today will produce the results of tomorrow. We should strive to live the greatest life with the people who breathe life into us not take the wind out of our sails. If they don't fill your heart with love, believe in you and add value to your life in ways you want them to, you have the power to take action! We deserve the best mate that fits us perfectly for the qualities we cherish and when we constantly feel broken instead of whole, we should seriously evaluate what steps to take to feel the way we need to feel.

We must make the people we care about a priority in our life before they become a choice. Regret is not something we need to add to our repertoire of dealing with our relationships we thought should be working great in our life. I recommend taking it slow at the beginning, try to be precise about what you expect from others, be healthy when you enter new relationships, be respectful and give what you want in return. When we deal with our past hurts and emotional baggage then we allow the goodness to enter our life and greatly increase our chances of having love that last forever! These simple suggestions should lead you to and continue to foster the loving relationships you seek and desire. Know that you will also have to give in order to receive and be persistent with the moments that bring you joy so you will always attract your mate to desire you and stay for the long haul.

I believe in you and your successful marriages and relationships throughout life. Stay true to you and always be authentically yourself, never compromising your values and morals to fit someone else's. This will hopefully be a recipe of true love!!