06/30/2016 10:43 am ET Updated Jun 30, 2017

Toxic Troubles In A Relationship

Relationships are like energy of people who are the life of the party or the trolls that live under the bridge. I strive to bring the energy of those that light up the party and hope after reading this article that you will as well. Relationships can be described as being simple or way too difficult and hard to handle. People get into relationships for the wrong reasons and when they do the relationships are usually built on straw and not bricks. Lets discuss some toxic troubles in relationships so you can learn to avoid them and make better decisions for your meaningful relationships to last a lifetime.

People that get into relationships usually don't get into them because they are whole, have forgiven others, are financially secure, in good physical condition, are born again, have a promising successful career, have high ambitions and amazing work ethics, no drama or baggage, respect others and are loving. Actually, people who get into relationships are often times lonely, need help financially or someone to rescue them, they got pregnant, they want sex and it somewhat turns into more, they are not really ready but that special someone shows up, and the list is eons long. The problem is that people are toxic and haven't eliminated their toxic behaviors, attitudes, burdens, baggage that they keep carrying around and they don't heal themselves but what they do is have many rebounds until one stays for awhile and then the cycle starts over because two people are toxic and then the relationship becomes toxic and it eventually ends. People cheat on their once loved mates and get into another toxic relationship and the toxicity just continues. People leave the arms of one toxic partner for another one because they honestly feel the grass will be greener but it ends up really being just as toxic or worse. Cheating is a toxic behavior of being unfaithful which creates a lot of hurt, unforgiveness, upset unresolved feelings, shame and guilt and a whole lot of unbroken trust.
People sometimes will numb the hurt in relationships with alcohol, drugs or withholding sex from their mates and this is very toxic trouble for the people involved. When you begin to consume these types of substances arguments are often escalated, unkind words are spoken and accusations are often thrown around like unwanted trash. People feel less than, blamed for unnecessary things, unappreciated, some might get yelled at, feelings are stuffed in order to end fights quickly and then unresolved issues continue occurring. All of these negatives are very toxic for relationships and can be avoided When trust is present, people love each other more than they love materials, to be right, alcohol, their jobs, and stop trying to one up their mate.

The words we use can damage anyone at any time and the words spoken cannot be taken back. Unkind words and accusations are very toxic for relationships because they damage other's souls, egos, personalities, hearts, trust, any desire to want a romantic encounter, any need to fix what is wrong for fear of doing something wrong again in the future and definitely self esteem is probably non existent when damaging words continue on a regular basis. People shut down when they are constantly accused or are ridiculed by their toxic mate.

I recommend getting into relationships when you are ready, willing and able to. Make sure your own life is in order before you try to be committed to someone else's. Make sure you don't need this person for any other reason than wanting to be in a serious loving relationship with someone who understands you, will never harm you, who will love you unconditionally, who wants the best for you, who has similar interests, and has a heart of gold that will treat you with the upmost respect that you need and deserve. I also recommend getting into a relationship with someone who is also whole, loves themselves, doesn't just want you for sex, has dealt with their past emotions and has done a lot of personal growth and development and one that you won't have to fix. Be in a relationship with someone who won't create any unnecessary drama or hatefulness to your personal or professional life.

Learn to enjoy life and always be authentically yourself and the right individual with come into your life and love you for all the right reasons. When we visually manifest the person of our dreams and really expect them to show up in our life is really when they will. We always receive exactly what we are supposed in the right time for our lives. As long as you remain healthy, happy and ready for your dynamic duo -- trust that they will arrive soon enough!