THE BLOG
12/18/2014 04:42 pm ET Updated Feb 17, 2015

Are You Successful?

Olivia Bell Photography via Getty Images

I have just finished my coaching programs for the year and there is nothing more fulfilling than my clients looking back over our time together and reflect on what they have learnt and achieved.

What goals did they set, what dreams did they dream and are they living in alignment with the highest version of themselves?

Have they shifted, expanded, taken risks and pushed personal boundaries?

Have they been successful?

As I ask them questions and help them to look over what they have succeeded at over the last year in all areas of their lives that are important to them, what I have found is that there are a few different ways to define success.

One of my clients, Chene, had a goals list as long as her arm, every area of her life had a plan and an end goal to be smashed, or else!

What she found was that on paper she had managed to tick most of the boxes, but that was not what made her feel so incredibly successful and this surprised her.

She said that she felt a success because her partner was more attentive to her because she had been more attentive to herself.

She felt a success because when she was dealt a harsh blow in the middle of the coaching, she had not made a drama out of it. She handled it on her own with clarity, calmness and strength. This was a new feeling for her. She had previously loved drama and pulled in as many people as she could to sort out her challenges. This time she did it on her own.

Chene felt successful because she had become responsible for her life, not just for ticking boxes.

Another client, Lisa, had struggled with 'I want to but I can't, I have too much to do' syndrome. We spoke a lot about impact and commitment. What was she committed to doing and what would be the impact if she did or did not take action?

Lisa is a very successful woman who had always taken on too much and therefore did not feel successful at anything. Once she started saying NO, her life completely shifted.

She was uncomfortable for a while, but she soon saw the positive impact of giving fully to a few things and succeeding, instead of giving to everything and feeling unsuccessful everywhere.

Lisa felt successful for using that big small word no.

Before this year ends, take the time to reflect on what you have achieved this year.

Have you shifted, expanded and taken risks? Have you failed and got up again? Have you made someone else's life better? Have you felt courage? Pushed personal boundaries?

If so, you are successful at living.

Before you create next year, gift yourself the time to acknowledge how successful you are right now.