"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."
-Janeane Garofalo, American actress
Close your eyes for a minute and think about the things in life that make you happy. What comes to mind? Long walks on a deserted, sandy beach at sunset? The smell of freshly cut grass on a lazy Sunday morning? These are the things that make life worth living...
We're sorry to burst your bubble, but life's not all puppies and ponytails--and even if it were, you'd still be out of luck. Turns out that even the purest, most innocent things in the world have a dark, sordid history of death, disease, and despair that's never been brought to light.
But that's all about to change. With this list of nine fluffy, cuddly, sweet, innocuous things that aren't quite what you thought, we'll take you on a fun-filled ride where the underbelly of everything you've ever loved is revealed.
Don't want to accept it? Well, we sympathize with you. What you're about to hear is rough, but it's for the best. This is but a small sampling of the 220 scary facts about the things you thought you loved that you'll find in our book, The Dark Side of Apple Pie, Baby Food, and Bunnies [Adams Media, $13.95] and you may as well prepare yourself for the disillusionment that's about to ensue.
And, in case you still refuse to accept the facts, chin up, the first stage of grief is denial. You'll come around soon enough. After all, there's a brave new world out there--and wouldn't you rather know the truth?