Changing People With Your Energy, Not Your Words

01/11/2016 05:51 pm ET Updated Jan 10, 2017

I think if I had a special power besides cloning myself, it would be changing other people. There is nothing more difficult than watching people you love make mistakes that you know are only hurting them. It's like watching someone beat their head off of a wall repeatedly while they keep telling you they have a headache and don't know why. I am a very powerful manifester and have watched the most miraculous things occur as a result of the power of my own mind. I knew there had to be a way to help other people without imposing my beliefs on them and without preaching the gospel every time I saw them.

A little over a year ago, a friend was arrested for threatening the mother of his beautiful child. My heart ached for him because I knew his actions were based on tons of pain but his addiction to control was destroying his life. I also knew he would never actually physically hurt her but sometimes words can get you in more trouble than actions. I watched him do things daily that were not only hurting him but hurting his family and ultimately hurting his amazing child. 

I messaged him daily telling him the repercussions of his actions and thinking about his actions completely consumed my life. I worried day in and day out what was going to happen next. I am a domestic violence empowerment counselor, so this particular issue hit very home for me. I knew he was wrong but I loved him more than anything. I loved him like a brother. All I wanted was for him to see the light while he was headed for the darkness.

I knew I had to let go of the situation. All the spiritual teachers I knew would say to send him love and let it go. I couldn't. My whole entire being was affected until I ultimately hit a rock bottom. It seemed like the more I held on to it, the worse the whole situation became. I heard a voice inside of me say, "If you can meet him where he is, he will change on his own." I began to remember all of the amazing words of wisdom my favorite teacher Dr. Wayne Dyer would say such as:

"Each time you send love in response to hate, you diffuse the hate."

"See the light in others and treat them as if that is all you see."

"Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you."

Dr. Wayne Dyer's teachings have saved my life, so I knew I had to let it all go, not only for my friend but for myself. Instead of actively trying to change him, this is what I did.

I imagined him differently. Instead of always thinking that he will never change, I began to see things differently. I began to imagine him being a wonderful father, a great friend, and an amazing man.

I stopped defining him by his past. I opened my mind to the possibility that this was the path he needed to take to become a better father and man.

I met him where he was at. If he needed to vent or complain, I just listened and offered him friendship instead of scolding.

I complimented him. I would always bring up the great things he was doing even if it seemed like everything was terrible. I still found ways to shine the light on his life.

I sent him love. As often as I could, I would imagine him surrounded with God's love and protection. I prayed that he would be the person he dreamed of being and the man that I also wanted him to be.

It's now been over a year since this situation was at its worst. My friend now has a beautiful relationship with his daughter, a wonderful girlfriend, and his dream job. He volunteers at the church we grew up in and has truly turned a mistake into a miracle. All it took was a little faith and a whole lot of surrender.