10/17/2014 06:03 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

My Mrs. Robinson Wore a Silver Bikini


Anyone reading this post should know who Mrs. Robinson is from the movie The Graduate. I refuse to even give an IMDB link. If you truly don't know, do your own google search or check Netflix.

In 1980 and 1981 I worked as a delivery driver for a local Pizza parlor in the Town & Country area of Tampa, FL. It was fun work, decent pay and lots of fun experiences. There was the private investigator whose house looked like something out of my Big Fat Greek Wedding, ordered MULTIPLE pizzas and was a good tipper, there was the singles party scene at the The Racquet Club Apartments Clubhouse, our two most infamous customers however were older single women, both apparently widows.

Widow #1 had what we would today recognize as OCD and a hoarder. She had a simple home stacked to the ceiling with magazines and newspapers. Her weekly order which usually came in late Saturday night consisted of something along the lines of a small pizza, lasagna or spaghetti dish. No big deal. BUT it was her add ons that were unique. We were located next door to a convenience store and we did her weekly grocery shopping. The normal list included bag of dog food, canned cat food, two lighters, four bic Pens, notebook filler Paper, Elmer's glue, etc... None of us knew exactly why she ordered these things or why she needed so many of them each week. We delivered them and she paid us a fair but not overly generous tip. It was a good deed for a little old lady who probably just needed some Prozac.

Then there was the one I still call Mrs. Robinson. She lived in one of the better areas of our delivery zone and was the widow of an Air Force Colonel and at the time I thought she was REAL old. Looking back she was probably a rough mid '50s. Large home (at least by 1980 standards) on the waterfront, boat dock with lift (never used), Screened pool. No carpet, all terrazo floors. Pretty cool digs. Drove a Lincoln Mark IV.

She usually answered the door with a cigarette and/or cocktail in hand. Her cigarettes were the long brown one's called "More", her cocktails were always "on the rocks." Whether her cocktails were scotch, bourbon or whiskey I never knew, just that they were brown. She had Marilyn Monroe styled messy Platinum Blonde Hair and was usually wearing one of a coterie of Bikinis including a leopard one and most famously the silver lame' one mentioned in the title of this post. Not that she had the body for it but she was proud of what she did have. Her skin was the texture and color of shoe leather which was so popular in Florida back then.

The entire effect was very Cocktail Nation, Aged "Rat Pack." She could have been one of Frank Sinatra's "BABES" back in the day. Just imagine an aged Angie Dickinson lying around the house with The look of Love playing on the stereo and you have a complete picture.

She was a GENEROUS tipper.

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