11/09/2012 11:29 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

I Am A Jedi Mom

I was born watching Star Wars movies. They were like magic to me, especially the Jedis.

I remember thinking to myself during epic battles in the back yard outer space with my brother How wicked mint would it be if I really had Jedi powers?

Now that I have kids of my own, I realize I have something way cooler than Jedi Powers.

I'm a parent, and I kick Jedi ass.

1. I have multiple light sabers inside my vacuum.

2. I know when people need to poop, even before they do.

3. I saw that. Yes, my back was turned. But I did, and we both know it.

4. There's ambidextrous, then there's the ability to spell "Spongebob" to your daughter while stirring spaghetti and catching a ball that got thrown near the stove top with your left hand, tossing it to where it belongs, shoving the cat away from the open oven with one foot and opening a cabinet for some Tupperware with the other all without missing a beat.

5. I can silently summon my child's attention from across a room and count to three with only my eyes in a way that makes him stop doing what he's doing and slowly back away.

6. I don't need to wear a cape for people to know I'm awesomely super-powered. They can clearly see it from the fact that I managed to leave the house with two kids before 9 a.m. and none of us are still wearing pajamas.

7. I can make a headlamp look sexy while MacGyvering a coffee maker and multi-room fort during a blackout.

kim bongiorno

This post originally appeared on Let Me Start By Saying.