10/02/2014 11:34 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

5 Things You Need to Stop Telling Yourself if You Want to Be Happy


Too many of us are content to live a good enough life. If we were asked what happiness means, we wouldn't have an answer, because we gave up on happiness long ago.

There are many people in some really difficult situations; they're living through things that we'll never understand, but there are those of us that can have happiness in our life, if we changed the way we thought about ourselves.

Happiness isn't some mystical thing that only happens in movies. Even in difficult times you can be happy if you choose to be. There are five self-limiting beliefs that we need to stop telling ourselves if we're going to live a truly happy life.

1. I'm not good enough

It may have been an abusive partner, a negative friend, or even a parent, but in the back of your mind, you've convinced yourself that you're not good enough and therefore don't deserve happiness.

If you're going to be successful, and live a happy life, it has to start with what's in your mind. It may be hard, but you have to leave the past where it belongs.

Those people were wrong for what they did, but if you continue to believe those lies they planted in your head, you're letting them win. You're robbing yourself of the happiness you deserve. You ARE good enough. Prove it by moving past people who will never understand happiness themselves.

2. I'm not special

Just because you're not an Olympic medal holder, or a Noble Prize winner, doesn't mean you're not special. The things that make each of us different are what makes us special.

Too often we try to blend in or even copy people. Steve Jobs said it best when he describes those who are "square pegs in round holes." Embrace what makes you who you are. Trying to be someone you're not is keeping from being happy.

3. I hate the way I look

Last year I weighed 370 pounds and hated the way I looked. It got so bad I didn't want to leave the house. I knew I needed to lose the weight because it wasn't healthy, and my father died of weight-related issues.

If you are overweight, I'm here to tell you that you can lose the weight over time. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. If you aren't overweight, but just don't like the way you look, you need to realize how beautiful you are.

If someone has told you otherwise, they're wrong. You're special, and unique, and those who truly love you understand this. You may not be a model, but you don't have to be. Be proud of who you are and how you look. When you can appreciate the way you look, you'll find happiness.

4. I'm not strong enough

Life is hard, change is hard, fighting self-limiting beliefs are hard, but somewhere inside you is enough strength to win these battles. You are strong enough to choose happiness. If there are days when you don't feel that strength, reach out to a supportive person for help, feed off of their strength.

This doesn't mean that you're "superman" every day. There are days when all you can do is laugh it off and go to bed. Take your happiness journey one day at a time. If you have those down days, determine to make the next day happier!

5. This is as good as it gets

If this were as good as it gets, life would be depressing. You may be facing a difficult circumstance, but you can overcome it and thrive to greater heights. This doesn't have to be the end of your story.

The point that I've been trying to make this entire blog is that you have a choice. You decide what you want for your life. If it's success and happiness, make that shift in your mind, and then do what it takes to get there.

When you listen to self-limiting beliefs, it affects the actions you take. You don't want to try because you're convinced you'll fail or that you're not worth it.

You are worth it, and you deserve to live everyday of your life happy. If no one else in your life believes in you, know that I do. Life is too short; time is the one thing we'll never get back.

Believe in yourself, and you will find happiness. Don't listen to the haters or those that will try to hold you back in life. Stop letting self-limiting beliefs win -- they have won for far too long!

Have you let self-limiting beliefs keep you from happiness?

Photo credit: Flickr/ Moyan Brenn