THE BLOG
12/18/2014 03:17 pm ET Updated Feb 17, 2015

What to Do When You're at One of Life's Crossroads

Dusan Zidar via Getty Images

We're always at a crossroads, aren't we? Sometimes our choice is an easy choice. Sometimes our answer seems to get tangled up in confusion. Yet other times our answer is to stay the course and do the expected because that is what will get us what we need. Still there are other times when our answer causes us to stray off the beaten path and forge our own.

Others may celebrate or even balk at our choice, but truthfully, it is our own choice regardless of what they say. It is wonderful to have the support of those that are important to us so that they may be there to cheer us on with our successes or even to lift us up if we should falter. But their support is not necessary. Our choice and our own support of the rightness of our actions is what we need. Sometimes we have to lead the way.

We can quit that job, join that retreat, leave (or start) that relationship, step out of our comfort zone, get the support we need to move beyond our wildest dreams. Many times the answers we seek have been right in front of us the whole time, but we've been looking at them and not seeing them. t's time to take a step back and see with fresh eyes.

This comes up for my daughter every now and then and is so fun to watch. She'll be looking for something very hard. At first she starts out motivated to do it by herself and has all the confidence in the world. But as time goes on and she hasn't been rewarded, the frustration, disappointment, and self-doubt creep in. After awhile she reaches out for support. "I can't do it," or "It's too hard," or "Can you do it?" The mother in me wants to stop her sadness at all costs, but that's not what is needed. "You can do it," and "I believe in you," and "Look with fresh eyes" are the words she hears. And so she pushes through that resistance. Before long she discovers the thing that she longed for. Her eyes sparkle and pure joy lights up her entire face as she shares her success. "What changed honey? What did you do differently?" Her answer always takes my breath away and makes me so proud that she gets it, really gets it. "I believed in myself!"

The same is true for you. Sometimes you just need to know that you can do it. That you already have all the knowledge, tools, skills, and abilities to begin (and often achieve) your goals. Sometimes you just need someone beside you who will offer what you need rather than what you want. Sometimes you need to know that you are in a safe place where you don't have to know all the answers all the time, or always hold it together, or do things right the first time. Sometimes it's okay to question how to move forward, knowing that in the end, you will find the answer that is best for you, that is right for you.

So if you're not reaching your full potential, or living the life you imagined for yourself, or filled with peace, joy, and contentment, please know that your answer is already in front of you. Perhaps you just need to take a step back, see with fresh eyes, and believe in yourself.

I believe in you.