10/20/2014 06:22 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Word Isn't Normal. The Word Is Mainstream.


I came across this article on the lovely Jillian Michaels. In this article she admits that it would be "a dream" to be straight. Because I have no social life, I read the comments about her statement, and the majority purported that she was homophobic. The overwhelming theme was "don't tell me I'm not normal."

My first problem is the choice of the word "normal." I think the appropriate word is "mainstream." Gay people are normal human beings, and what makes them different is just like what makes straight people different: personalities, triggers, childhood issues, addiction or mental health issues. Gay people are as "normal" as heteros.

But they are not mainstream. Let's be honest, it is way harder to be gay parent than a straight one. It is harder to be a gay person than a straight one, and let's not even talk about gender differences because even gay people are not as accepting as they should be about transgender individuals. Let's be honest here, we're all a little gender queer, if we really understand the spectrum. People were not made to fit into static molds. But the gay world is not always much more accepting than the straight one. But, as I said, that it a different issue than the one I'm addressing here.

It's not cool to say it sucks sometimes being gay. You are a traitor for those words, even though we all know it's true. We know we will be discriminated in jobs. We know we risk our safety. We know our children will be harassed on the playground. There is no reason to not acknowledge that life doesn't suck more for gay people than straight people.

It's not homophobia for a gay person to admit that life would be easier if they were mainstream. It's the same as saying that life is easier for white skinny, attractive people who come from stable homes. Just because it's wrong doesn't mean it's not true.

The vocal comment thread majority should not be attacking people. We should be attacking society. Backlash towards a gay person who says "this is harder than being straight" should be directed at the straight world. The word is NOT normal. The word is mainstream. And any part of you that is not mainstream will cause you suffering, unless we work to change society.

Yeah, it sucks sometimes to be gay. it's OK to say it. The problem isn't in admitting it, the problem is that the world needs changing. direct our anger where it belongs.

If a black person says it is easier to be white, they are right, and society needs to change.

If a gay person says it is easier to be straight, they are right, and society needs to change.

If a transgender person says it is easier to be cis gender, they are right and society needs to change.

If an overweight person says it is easier to be skinny, they are right, and society needs to change.

We have every right to be portaged, but the outrage needs to be against society, not against people who admit that is IS easier to be mainstream. Let's be hoest we all know it is easier to be white bread middle of the line America. But easier doesn't mean better. We should all be outraged.