THE BLOG
02/13/2015 04:36 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

From Russia With Love: A Happy Valentine's Day to You... Nyet!

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Valentine's Day does not have quite the same meaning in Russia as it does here. For your viewing pleasure---a sampling of greeting cards from over there. Could we just be Putin you on? Are these really representative of the feelings of the average Russian? Hey, who knows what's in anyone's heart?

One small city in western Russia, Belgorod, actually banned Valentine's Day a couple of years ago. A spokesman for the governor's office, stated that celebrating Valentine's Day is neither a Russian tradition nor does it teach good moral values to Russian youth. In his own words: "We are not talking about true love here, this is only about being in love. Society needs to think about the consequences. We could have started celebrating a day of Vodka or Beer just as well."

You'll find a bit of that attitude reflected in these cards. Translation is somewhat loosey-goosey... Enjoy!

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Don't you dare come near me!

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Comrades! Do not trust those f***king Capitalist Valentines.

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Who armed this kid?

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Let me guess, it's happy valentine's day.
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No matter that you, Masha, are a filthy old cow (Skotina), I still want to wish you happy valentines. (Note: Skotina is a Russian curse word. Literally, it means a domestic animal but in conversation, it is considered an extremely disgusting and offensive term used primarily to humiliate.)
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Happy lovers don't need underwear
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Why isn't there a Saint Sex Day?
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My dear better half...Where are you my bitch?
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You bitch! You really want to know what Valentine's Day is all about
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Happy Valentine's Day!
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She: "Wow, you're giving me a nail file!" He : "Not really, the store sold it to me as a depilatory"
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See what love will get you... Not really. These two Russian words are from an old Russian proverb "любовь зла полюбишь козла, which has to do with "falling in love with the love of the evil goat." Isolating the first two from the whole proverb is funny in Russian, but does not convey much when translated into English. It translates literally as "love is evil" but this is not what they mean in this anti-valentine. Welcome to the language differences and outlook between the two cultures.
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This is what love is all about-- nobody interfering with what I like to do most.
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Where's something to eat?(A variation of "where's the beef?")
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Russian man paying homage to wife, who's carrying the shopping bags with which she is closely identified. Rather than Valentine's day, Russians much prefer International Woman's Day, celebrated on March 8. Started as a Socialist political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries, including Russia, after which it lost its political flavor, and became simply an occasion for men to express their love for women in a somewhat weird hybrid of Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. For Russian men, it probably meant getting hit up twice and the inconvenience of having to profess their undying love more than once a year.

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