THE BLOG
11/11/2014 03:44 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - But One Way to Have a Successful Relationship

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Paul Simon sang about "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." But there is one sure way to have a successful love relationship with the "right one."

To learn what it is: begin by looking at the 7th House of your Horoscope. This is the House of intimate partnerships such as marriage, where there's a deep commitment of love between two people. Look here to understand the needs you'll have within a relationship, and to discover the characteristics of the person, you'd want to marry (or stay married to).

Often a person is attracted to someone who just does not satisfy their needs. Have you ever heard a friend say, "He's so brilliant, but I need someone who wants to have more fun," or "She's gorgeous, but I am so bored in her company. I need someone more intellectual," or "I like so many of his qualities, but I really need someone who can express what he's feeling inside emotionally." It's important to get a firm fix on not only the qualities that are attractive to you, but also the ones you need in a partner. The two may not be the same.

The 7th House also foretells the unique "identity" of your relationship, based on the merging of your personality and character with the other person's, to produce a new entity known as a partnership. As in: The two of you "make wonderful music together." You've probably heard someone exclaim, "They make a lovely couple." That person is noticing the special qualities two people exude when they're together as a couple. This House addresses serious questions such as: Who is really the "right one" for you? And who do you become when you're in close partnership? After all, there are partners who bring out your best and your worst side.

Will you become more assertive, aggressive or timid? Perhaps, you'll become more confident and forthright because your relationship makes you so secure. Do you need to be the "alpha dog", desiring a partner you can dominate? Or do you need a thoughtful, cautious partner who can restrain your impulsive tendencies? This area of your birth chart can provide you with an understanding of whether or not being in partnership is compatible with your real needs.

Why Do Relationships Fail?

Answer: Personality incompatibility is one of the main reasons that marriage partnerships (or business partnerships) fail. Prospective partners have different personalities, values and needs, and when they clash it can lead to failure. Before entering a serious partnership two people must analyze if they are truly compatible for a long-term relationship. They must avoid the crucial mistake of underestimating their relationships needs.

Let's face it, when you're 22, you have simpler and less refined needs than you have at 32, 42, 52, or 62. As you mature and accept more responsibilities your relationship needs grow and change as well. This means that the qualities that attracted you to a partner at 22 might not be satisfying enough for you 10 or 20 years later. So, it becomes necessary to dig under the facade of each person's personality to see if there's true compatibility over the long-term. After all, every couple starts out saying the same words: "We love each other." However, can they live with each other? As the great soul singer, Tina Turner exclaimed, in her poignant song: "What's love got to do with it?"

We've come a long way in the evolution of how marriage partners are matched for long-term relationships. It wasn't that many generations ago when parents arranged a marriage based on religious, social, economic, or political considerations. (Obviously, it's still done that way in certain countries.) For many years, parents preached that marriage success was based on two people having, for example, religion in common, "Have I got a nice Jewish girl for you!" or social compatibility, "Where do his people come from?" or, financial status, "Darling, this young man you want to marry has no wealth to take care of you." Eventually, most people started making their own decisions about whom they wanted to marry (or live with), independent of parental pressure.

Here we are today, with relationship connections being made in many unorthodox ways. You can look for a mate "online" by joining a whole variety of Internet dating websites. You can even find a mail-order bride by looking at pictorial ads of available mates, then flying to a foreign country to meet your future spouse. Additionally, there are the many services offering to match you with a love connection, using personality profiles and compatible tests, which they say will improve your odds of finding an ideal partner for a long-term relationship.

The Secret to Finding a Compatible Relationship

According to an ABC News article the current divorce rate is over 40%. The average length of a US marriage that ends in divorce is about seven years. So, it's high time for a new approach to insure that you're marrying the right partner for a happy, long-term marriage (as in "until death do us part").

Using astrology for matchmaking is an extremely accurate analysis technique for determining long-term relationship compatibility. It will reveal the likelihood of your relationship being a harmonious, day-to-day living experience. It can show how well you'll communicate, feel an emotional connection, have fun together, find domestic living comfortable or stressful, have similar financial goals, enjoy sexual compatibility, or share spiritual values.

This analysis can reveal if you'll be close friends or competitive. It can show whether one of you will be the teacher and other the willing student. Or, will the wiser partner who tries to teach, be resisted by the other, causing personality clashes and friction? Will there be power and control issues between you? Through this analysis, you'll learn what areas you and your partner complement each other, so that you can play to each other's strengths and support each other; or whether you'll become codependent through your mutual weaknesses. It will reveal in what areas of life you'll have to compromise and where you're likely be challenged.

What if you've just started dating someone? If you're interested in marriage (or a committed partnership), it's important that you don't devote too much time to a "dead-end" relationship. Ask yourself: "Is this person really the right one or just a place-holder?" Single people often spend months and even years dating each other or living together, only to find out in the end they are basically incompatible. That can be a painful way of discovering reality and the truth. So, before you invest a great deal of time together, why not find out whether you're mutually compatible for a long-term relationship? The solution is to have an astrologer compare your birth charts to see if you are really compatible by doing a "chart compatibility analysis."

A compatibility analysis reveals your individual strengths, weaknesses and compatibilities, thus allowing you to fully understand the dynamics of your partnership. You can then decide if the qualities that make up your relationship will be a positive complement to the partnership you envision, likely resulting in a successful marriage together. Additionally, you can decide if you can live with the personality differences that may cause you and your partner friction and disagreement. By the way: We are not talking about looking for the perfect partner - just one you can love, grow with and enjoy a satisfying life. My old astrology teacher, Hannibal used to say, "Everyone is a little crazy. The key is to find someone whose 'crazy' works for you." A chart compatibility analysis will provide you with that answer.

If you want to know where your personal transits are - and to find out if you have any in the 7th House that are affecting you now, go to the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. You may learn something important about what you need in a marriage and who's the right partner for you. Also, order a Report on Your Future in 2015.

Larry Schwimmer is an astrologer in private practice. For private consultations on your compatibility with someone, contact him at: Larry@astrodecision.com or go to www.AstroDecision.com

Read Larry Schwimmer's latest books, What the Hell is Going On in My Life? Using Your Birthdate to Find Answers About Relationships, Career, Money, Sex & Health;and How To Ask For A Raise Without Getting Fired - And 24 Other Techniques For Resolving Conflicts At Work & In Life; and Winning Your Next Promotion In One Year (Or Less!).

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Larry Schwimmer is president of Astrodecision.com, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the "best dates" to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. The firm currently advises a diverse client base that includes politicians, presidents of major corporations and an MLB baseball team. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: www.astrodecision.com