Dear Larry: My Husband is so cheap...NBC was there for the opening of his wallet!
Readers have written me with questions about their astrological chart, their Sun sign as well as the Sun signs of important people in their life such as their spouse, friend or boss. They've wanted to know how astrology could help them find solutions to problems and conflicts they're experiencing in their relationships, career or daily life. This column is your chance to ask questions and receive practical answers. Please enjoy some recent questions I've received:
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By Dear Larry
Dear Larry: My husband and I fight all the time. He gets angry at the littlest mistakes I make and blows up and says some awful things to me. Then, five minutes later he forgets about his angry outburst. I've tried to get him to control his temper but with no success. He's an Aries and I'm a Capricorn. Based on our sun signs do you have any advice? Distressed Wife in Memphis, TN
Dear Distressed Wife: Aries are prone to spontaneous, angry outbursts that start and end just as quickly as they begin. In contrast, you as a Capricorn, are likely to be more careful and reserved in your behavior. In other words, you probably "think before you speak." When he's calm, tell him that you know that you may do things that irritate him. Encourage him to tell you when he first notices his irritation. Rather than letting his frustration build up, ask him to tell you when he's first starting to feel upset at your behavior. Invite him, to calmly tell you about it, rather than let his upset build up where he his anger becomes out of control. If that doesn't work, you may have to tell him that for the sake of your relationship, he will need to attend an "anger management," course to learn new communication strategies when he gets angry.
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Dear Larry: My husband is a "penny-pinching" cheap man. The last time he opened his wallet - NBC was there for the grand opening. We can't go to a restaurant unless we have a coupon that discounts our meal in some way. After 20 years of marriage, I don't know what to do. He's a Virgo and I'm a Libra. Do you have any suggestions? Super-Size Me, Los Angeles, CA.
Dear Super-Size Me: Virgos have been known to be a bit frugal or even tight with a buck. They tend to be very practical when they spend money and they worry a lot. Perhaps, your husband is worried about finances. Libras by contrast, enjoy sensuous and expensive meals and don't feel sorry about spending money as long as it brings them pleasure. My suggestion is that you stop waiting for him to take you out somewhere special. Instead, take him out to dinner somewhere that you'd enjoy and tell him that you're treating him. If need be, tell him that he doesn't even need to look at the menu or the prices because you'll order for him. That way he won't have to worry about how much money is being spent. He can just enjoy a great dining experience. And, you'll enjoy yours.
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Dear Larry: I'm a 37-year-old male and I am very non-assertive at work. Co-workers seem to take advantage of me by asking me to do work they should be responsible for. They leave at 5 PM sharp and I'm still sitting at my desk working much later. I'm very intimidated by my boss, so I'm not comfortable complaining to him about this problem. I'm a Pisces. How do I solve my problem? Door Mat, Westport, CT
Dear Door Mat: Many sensitive Pisces find themselves wanting to avoid conflict and end up paying the price of others taking advantage of them. The Pisces nature is to be helpful, often ending up in a care-taking role. In your case, it sounds like it's gotten out of hand. This may be because of your basic Sun sign nature. But I suspect that you have some natal aspects in your birth chart that cause you to be non-assertive. You may also suffer from feelings of low self-esteem that cause you to tolerate this treatment by others because you don't think your own needs are important.The results are that you do not have the confidence to stand up for yourself in an assertive way. The first thing you can do is to set boundaries and tell co-workers, "No, I must finish the work I've have already." Then, consider taking an assertiveness training class in your community. Within 2-4 weeks, you'll learn new ways to stand up for yourself that will fill you with confidence.
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Dear Larry is written by Larry Schwimmer, astrologer, life coach and career consultant. Write your questions to Larry@AstroDecision.com .
If you want to know more about your Sun sign; or if you want to know where your personal transits are -- to see if they are affecting you, go to the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. You may find that your transits are bringing major events into your life right now.
Larry Schwimmer is an astrologer in private practice. www.AstroDecision.com
Read Larry Schwimmer's latest books, What the Hell is Going On in My Life? Using Your Birthdate to Find Answers About Relationships, Career, Money, Sex & Health;and How To Ask For A Raise Without Getting Fired - And 24 Other Techniques For Resolving Conflicts At Work & In Life; and Winning Your Next Promotion In One Year (Or Less!).
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Larry Schwimmer is president of Astrodecision.com, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the "best dates" to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. The firm currently advises a diverse client base that includes politicians, presidents of major corporations and an MLB baseball team. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: www.astrodecision.com