You guys, I think we need to declare that Kirstie Alley is in an official state of emergency and it might take all of us to bring her back from the brink.
I just watched the preview for her new show, Kirstie Alley's Big Life (see video below), and it's capital C, Crazy. It's basically Kirstie Alley complaining about being fat, showing us how how fat she is, some insane gibberish about how she has 25 animals (who live with her? in her house?) and then more hating on herself because she's fat. It's so tiring. What's worse, another show about losing weight? I know A&E is new to the reality genre but we've reached a saturation point with "get skinny, fatty" shows and there is nothing left to say. 2002 called, and it wants its show back.
Initially, I wanted to make fun of her and the show. I wanted to be like, 'Lady, what's with your highlights? Do you want Bruce Vilanch to play you in your Lifetime movie?' But then I thought, no, that's not how I really feel. I think Kirstie Alley is a beautiful woman and you know what would be wonderful? If she would just work the fat. On top of still being gorgeous, she can act. Perhaps we've forgotten this because all most people can associate with Alley these days is fat, but she was Rebecca on Cheers, an inspiration to taller, bigger women everywhere. Sure, Rebecca wasn't fat, but she was large and in charge. She was also funny as hell. Alley's comedic timing has always been on point. She was more than a pretty face and hot body, she was an actress. And a damn good one.
I know over the years, Kirstie Alley has probably gotten tons of crap about her weight. I'm sure she's lost roles because of it -- she's in Hollywood, the land of the notoriously fat-phobic. I also believe that if she could just own the fact that she's a big, beautiful woman, she'd work. There are plenty of other older, bigger actresses (Kathy Najimy and Kathy Bates) who work quite regularly and look amazing while doing it. They aren't pigeonholed as just fat and that's because they aren't just fat.
Some advice: if Kirstie Alley is going to do a show about being fat, she needs to go Ru-Paul on our asses and work it. Don't use the word fat as a stand-in for disgusting. Fat is lots of things, but it is not gross. For every outspoken self-hating fat celebrity out there, there are a million fat chicks just trying to be okay with their bodies. Alley has the chance to be a champion for all the chubby girls in the house. How much fun would it be to watch her fabulous, slightly insane self walk around town being all, "I'm fat! What! Pass that cake!" Show her working out (News flash! Lots of fat people work out!), shopping (News flash! We want cute clothes too!), dating (News flash! Lots of dudes dig fat ladies! And thin ladies! Really, men just want to get with a lady!) and just being all about her fabulous fat self.
Screw Thinspiration. Be an inspiration, Kirstie Alley. Our societal obsession with thinness over health is damaging at best and deadly at worst. Alley, as a larger woman, has a chance to disprove the myth that all fat people do is just lay in bed and eat all day. Show the world that you can be fat and healthy. That you can be fat and happy. Use this opportunity to fight for all women and get out there and work it, girl. Put on them tight jeans and a tank top and make the world look at you, not being embarrassed or ashamed, but proud of everything you have accomplished and will accomplish. Girl, you better work.