04/08/2014 06:26 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

No Sleep This Week Due to Sports, Obvi

It's one of the best times of the year: April. A time when many sports teams are playing, and sometimes you can't decide what outranks what. Luckily for Detroiters, the Pistons are garbage so that leaves one less thing to worry about. But now we face a different dilemma: It's not "what do we watch," but rather, "is this more important than sleep?"

You see, for some god-awful reason, we are dealing with interleague baseball, and it's just silly. So now I have to watch the the Tigers, at 10:10 PM on a work night. And the games, well, they don't technically mean anything. I do however work at the ad agency that helped coin the term "every game counts," so basically I am disrespecting my peers, boss and client if I ignore this. I have no choice but to stay up until 1 AM to watch this meaningless game.

And baseball is just the half of it. The Detroit Red Wings are now in a playoff run which could end as soon as tomorrow. Three points, baby! Who in the hell thought we would be here? Every player is hurt, or was hurt, and most of the goals have been scored by a guy named Gus who no one had heard of a year ago. Well, now he's like, the best guy in the league, so thanks for that, Mike Babcock. So now, of course, I have to watch tonight because "every game counts" (it works for all sports, you see) so it's television all night for this girl.

So what is the point of all this incessant rambling? The point is that some people might not think it's worth losing productivity and sleep over. Well, I am here to provide you with a few pros and cons so you can provide explanation to anyone who questions you as to why you are a) ignoring them during the games, b) slacking off on duties at home, c) asleep at your desk tomorrow.

PRO: The Red Wings are fighting for their 23rd year in the playoffs and you want to see it happen. This is a record that is a very big deal. CON: They are playing the Pens on Wednesday which means a Sidney Crosby/NBC lovefest. Nothing is worth that. Except a possible playoff clinch. PRO: Like, a million pros. Just watch.

As far as the Tigers game is concerned, PRO: We are the best team in baseball! 4-1. ESPN has given us the No. 1 power ranking, which means nothing, but for the sake of this argument is does. A must-see team! CON: 10:10 PM EST. PRO: We are playing the Dodgers and Yasiel Puig is worth watching, too. CON: 10:10 PM. PRO: Miguel Cabrera. CON: 10:10 PM. PRO: It's the Tigers and what the hell kind of fan are you if you choose sleep over ball? Just watch the game and stop explaining yourself to people. You owe no explanation!

It's like Christmas to me around this time. I can't stand it when we go a day without sports. Yesterday I had to clean the house and watch reruns of Housewives on Bravo. And then I went out in the rain to get gas and groceries. How pathetic and boring. Now I can sit there and watch hockey and baseball back-to-back! Is there anything better than this? If you are questioning whether to watch or not, maybe question calling yourself a fan. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

#GoWings #GoTigers