Have you noticed that the New Agers are telling you to go toward your bliss? To notice what you love to do, what gives you pleasure and joy, and do more of that? Pshaw, I say. Gravitate to what you hate.
Here are some things I used to hate:
- Exercise that required sweating
- My brother
- Listening to my parents
- Getting dressed up
- Stopping working at a set time
- Taking risks
- Being scared
- Honest conversations
Here is how I now feel about some of those things:
Vegetables are delicious and they make me feel so good and good about myself. I had just never tasted them really or trained myself to think correctly about food, health and taste. Thank goodness I forced myself to TRY to like veggies; now I do not know what I'd do without them.
As for my family, sure it was a fun cliché to resent and blame them for my issues, but I am much happier taking 100 percent responsibility for my own life and getting to know them as adult people, equals. Turns out, I really like my brother and my parents. Thank goodness I dropped the distaste I had for being with them and cleaned up my messes and started to listen. It feels undeniably good to be connected to my family of origin. The more I like them, the more I like me and vice versa. Fancy that!
Dressing up is still something I have to GET myself to do, but I force myself to gravitate toward it, because you know what? Looking my best feels really good. (Thank you, stylist George, for the support here.) I wouldn't have thought blow-drying my hair, having my toes done, putting an outfit together or wearing shoes would make a difference, but it does. Self-respect and self-care resonate with me and others in the world.
Risks -- oh boy. I still have to force myself to take risks, have hard conversations and work through failures, but I do it. Turns out, it's an EXCELLENT high and it makes for great stories, too. Folks, you want some stories to tell your kids to inspire them (or at least amuse at the next party you go to). I'd even venture to say you are on this earth to make great stories to leave behind. All your little soul really wants to do is evolve, learn and grow and it won't do that without risks and challenges. It's literally what your life is for.
So, what's your list of what you hate? This year, gravitate toward what you hate at least some of the time. Sure, follow your bliss too -- rock on! But make sure you give serious thought to facing your deep, dark demons and your daily demons, too. We can really help you. You can start anywhere: issues with food, family, love, self-esteem, your career, communication or just plain risk-taking. If you tackle one, the rest will fall much easier.
Let us show you how. If you haven't been to the Life Coaching Crash Course, you are missing the best bang for your buck, ever. We will make it incredibly fun and inspiring to face your demons. Hope to have you.
For more by Laurie Gerber, click here.
For more on mindfulness, click here.