04/25/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

OUTRAGE! Chris Brown To Receive $165,000,000 Bonus For Beating Octomom!

A growing chorus of an increasing number of a sizable majority of activists, Joe Six Packs, Soccer Moms, Regular Folks, Good Ole' Boys, Plain Janes, Twitterati, Eurotrash, techonerds, Gen Xers, Tweens and the Blogosphere expressed total outrage over some antics recently.

News that Lindsay Lohan had sent a teabag to Rihanna after Glenn Beck called Rosie O'Donnell to complain about Michael Moore saying that A-Rod should talk to Newt Gingrich about Joaquin Phoenix reportedly blowing off Al Sharpton during his recently leaked altercation with Simon Cowell over his relationship with Sarah Palin's former running mate John McCain's daughter's big fat ass and had trouble remembering the predicate of this sentence.

They could not be reached for comment. Several were hospitalized, reportedly for exhaustion. Spokesmen would not confirm. Tabloids reported. A Facebook group was started and reported on by cable news in a story widely discussed around the water cooler. Experts declared Trigg the least quote special unquote member of the Palin family amid speculation that experts also disagreed. And several butcher's aprons.

Meanwhile, no outrage was expressed over actual important things that could be changed though forethought and communication.

UPDATE: And Madonna!