03/13/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Petition Against Sheriff Lott for Arrests Related to Michael Phelps

Richland County, South Carolina Sheriff Leon Lott has decided to spend his department's time and money arresting people for marijuana possession related to a photo of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps doing what is known by experts as a 'bong hit'. We strongly oppose Sheriff Lott and this wasteful use of time and resources for reasons including...

1) There was no more harm done to the citizens of South Carolina by people smoking marijuana at a party at some point in the past then was done by ten of thousands of South Carolina citizens who were spending time drinking or smoking cigarettes that night. In fact, from a public health perspective much less harm was done...but if public health is Sheriff Lott's concern, he might consider conducting raids on any of South Carolina's Cracker Barrel Restaurants.

2) There was no general public outcry for justice in this case. The citizens of South Carolina largely know how silly these arrests are, although we're sure a small minority of them will write letters talking about how brave Sheriff Lott is. Then those citizens who support Sheriff Lott will finish gumming their crackers while watching the rest of The O'Reilly Factor and commenting on how attractive that young whippersnapper Ann Coulter is for a Yankee.

3) As retired Seattle Police Chief Norm Stamper wrote in this article these arrests are a grandstanding move that will be difficult to prosecute and that shows a lack of the intelligent use of your discretion. In other words, you're a major league douche.

4) As this article shows, last year, Sheriff Lott obtained an "armored personnel carrier, complete with a belt-fed, .50-cal turreted machine gun" which he refers to as "The Peacemaker." This is a military weapon and Lott's desire to possess such a weapon shows a bizarre view of law enforcement, unless South Carolina has a lot more Al Qaeda insurgents then anyone is aware of. It also shows that Sheriff Lott may have unresolved issues regarding the size of his genitalia.

5) Aside from you being a grandstanding douche with questionable genitals who wastes time and money, we couldn't help noticing by looking at the Richland Country Sheriff's Department website that you have lots of unsolved murders, sex criminals on the loose, and all kinds of people who may have done something worse then allegedly smoking some alleged weed that probably wasn't allegedly that great since it was available to college students in South Carolina. But those dangerous people are HARD to arrest aren't they? Ruining college student's lives is so much easier.

6) You probably are trying to get publicity so you can take Michael Phelp's place on Kellogg's cereal box or perhaps so you can take over the Republican Party...which you probably could, actually.

In summary, Sheriff Lott, your actions show the ridiculous over-dramatic hypocrisy of the war on marijuana. We're sick of the waste, sick of the lies, sick of the stupidity and sick of bozos like you playing it up for your own fame and so you get to buy giants tanks to play with.

In short, Sheriff Lott, grow up and do your job prosecuting actual dangers to the people of South Carolina.


The Undersigned

Click here to sign the petition!