01/11/2012 05:36 pm ET Updated Mar 12, 2012

Party Down Movie: Is It Really Just a Front for a Veronica Mars Movie? Senseless Speculation From a Delusional Fan

By now I'm sure you've all heard the news that there's going to be a movie version of the Starz comedy Party Down, and if you're 97% of America, you're thinking, "What is Party Down?" I'll tell you, America: Party Down was a hilarious but under-viewed series about a jaded group of misfits working on the Party Down catering crew. Mostly, though, Party Down is how Rob Thomas managed to keep the cast of Veronica Mars together (more or less) after the show was canceled in 2007. Granted, Party Down was canceled too, but the difference is that for some reason Party Down is actually being made into a movie. At least that's what they want you to think. What they don't tell you is that it's really just a front for a Veronica Mars movie. What's that you say? The plot of Party Down is completely different from Veronica Mars? Well thank you for pointing that out, Captain I-Know-Everything, but I don't appreciate your rational arguments and your lopsided ear lobes.

Let's go over some facts regarding Party Down and Veronica Mars. Fact: Rob Thomas, John Enbom, and Dan Etheridge were all writers and/or producers on Veronica Mars, and two years after it was canceled, they created Party Down (along with Paul Rudd). Fact: Party Down features two former Veronica Mars cast members (Ken Marino and Ryan Hansen), as well as Adam Scott (who guest starred on an episode of Veronica Mars), and a slew of guest appearances from Veronica Mars alumni, including Enrico Colantoni, Jason Dohring, Ed Begley Jr., and Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell. Fact: Warner Brothers won't finance a Veronica Mars movie, but Rob Thomas and the cast have all stated that they would love to make one. Now, putting all this information together, any intelligent human being can connect the dots and see that Rob Thomas has clearly found a way to make a Veronica Mars movie without Warner Brothers by disguising it as a Party Down movie. How else do you explain the fact that a TV series about disgruntled caterers which averaged under 100,000 viewers per episode is being made into a movie, while Veronica Mars, a show that averaged over two million viewers and has a rabid fan base, is not? That's what I thought.

I have to commend Rob Thomas on his creative use of a Party Down movie to finish telling the story of Veronica Mars, which was so rudely interrupted by its premature cancellation. Of all the shows I've ever gotten emotionally invested in only to see them get canceled (and there have been many), the one whose lack of closure still haunts me the most is Veronica Mars. I guess I have no choice but to continue searching for some kind of resolution in everything from Party Down to Snickers commercials.