"We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves." Author Unknown
When you are feeling down, what do you do?
I find my immediate reaction is to stay down. It's an built-in emotional safety mechanism to find my way under the covers and hope things magically get better. I can tell you from experience this does not work. I have learned that once you find your way out of the covers everything is still exactly the same. Nothing has changed. Nothing has shifted. Except maybe some time, which has simply been wasted. So, I am going to ask the question again:
When you are feeling down, what do you do?
There are many options available to us. Some wise. Some unwise. Here are a few positive ways to deal with the ebb and flow of life. Ways that I know have worked for me and I hope will work for you.
- Call a friend: I believe that isolation is a conduit for suffering. We are not meant to be alone with our struggles. So, pick up the phone, go to your local Starbucks and connect with someone. Ask them to listen and let your heart do the talking. Preferably connect with someone you know, but sometimes anyone will do...
- Buy a journal: I learnt this little trick many years ago and find it to be an invaluable tool. Writing is a powerful way to let our inner thoughts see the light of day and ultimately giving our unconscious mind a voice. We often forget that so much of our lives are run by our unconscious. Writing frees us to connect with parts of ourselves that may be hidden from view.
- Practice self love: Sometimes this is the most difficult thing to do yet it is critical. It's about learning the simple yet challenging skill of no longer beating yourself up. I would never let anyone treat me the way I have treated myself. A simple reframe can reshape your life.
The final point in this little impromptu advice session is that nothing ever comes easily. Many of us have learnt our negative behaviors over years and years of self-defeating action. The only way to change those behaviors is to give yourself some breathing space.
Be gentle. Be loving. Just Be.
Leon Logothetis