12/23/2013 05:55 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Kitten Relives Drunken Office Party Through Cell Phone Pics

Holy hell. Now that was a holiday party! I'd like take a quick moment to thank Sheila for organizing everything and to HR for not making a big deal about that joke I told. But you gotta admit, that Nantucket punch line is pretty good.

Um, and I guess "thanks" to everyone who texted me pictures of myself. I don't really remember giving my cell phone number out, but I will say I felt super popular waking up to 20 texts of "Did you get home okay?" (I did get home okay) and it was super fun to relive all your captured moments.


Secret Santa was AWESOME this year! Tom said that the gift was actually the quilt his partner made, but I assured him it was the bag it came in. THIS PLASTIC BAG RULES! Just look at the way I can shove my face through the handle. I look like a coy, little geisha. Best. Gift. Ever. Thanks, Tom and David! You guys really know how to spread the Christmas cheer.


Willow in accounts receivable is usually pretty mellow and let's just say; now I know why. Thanks for the extra "party favor." Staring at snow for 45 minutes straight has never been more beautiful while simultaneously terrifying.


I fought with this stocking...


Twice. And won.


I defy anyone to not strike their fiercest "Sashay, Shante" pose when Ru Paul's "Supermodel" plays over the loud speakers. Kudos to the DJ (I think his name was DJ Werk?) who kept the jams going all night long. Nothing like a good dance session to make a fella thirsty.




I think it's pretty sweet that temps Susan and Alison were allowed to come to the party. And even sweeter that they saved a seat for me between the two of them. I'm a gentleman, so I won't go into further details. But let's just say, "high-five!"


There are a ton more pics that I'd love to share (and some that I can't). But for now, I need to sleep off this hangover. Totally worth it, though.

Happy Holidays and looking forward to next year's party!

All photos courtesy of the author