05/14/2012 11:47 am ET Updated Jul 14, 2012

S**t People Say to Jews

Wait, you guys have Sunday on Saturday? Isn't that confusing?

He's your type, he looks Jewish.

So he tried to Jew me down. Oops. No offense.

Is that really your own nose?

I can't help it, Jews are damned to hell. That's what my pastor said. But we can still be friends!

You don't have Christmas? Why not?

No tree? No presents? Nothing? That is soooo sad.

Your hair is really kinky. Can I touch it?

The Bible is just so angry. I mean, the part your guys wrote.

When you get married, do you have to shave your head?

But Christmas isn't religious. What's wrong with a tree?

Jesus was Jewish. Yes he was.

If there was a Holocaust here, I would hide you. Someplace.

Can you help me with my econ class, you guys are so good with money.

Did they really cut off a part of your -- ?

Passover is your version of Easter, right?

Why are you so sensitive?