11/20/2012 11:31 am ET Updated Jan 20, 2013

The Real Obamacare: Look What Else He Sent Me!

Okay, I wasn't entirely honest when I reported last week on the gifts that Obama gave me.

Fact is, I was overwhelmed by his munificence, and the thank you note signed by the whole First Family. See, I had the very first Obama sign in my mid-Michigan neighborhood years ago when he was running against Hillary Clinton in the 2008 Democratic primaries. Obama doesn't forget that kind of loyalty. He and his amazing team of elves, I mean operatives, took note.

And because they care so much about Education and helping teachers, I'm proud to announce that I now have a teaching assistant for my two classes at Michigan State University next semester. I'll only have a total of 65 students, and could probably have handled the load myself. But the guy is ex-CIA, so I suspect that when I ask people to stop texting during class, they'll listen. Joe (not his real name) looks a lot like Huck in Scandal.

Because of Hurricane Sandy, even though we don't live anywhere near a coast or even a big river, we got a closet full of emergency supplies: deluxe canned goods from Dean & DeLuca, Apollinaris bottled water, SureFire flashlights with plenty of batteries, and of course copies of Obama's two books, both paper and on Kindle. Did I mention the HD Kindles for each of us? Oh, and an inflatable raft. We won't need it, but it'll make us feel safer.

I confess, though, that my favorite gift is the Romnopoly board game with properties like The Caymans and Place Vendôme, and cards like "Your Car Elevator Crushed Your Land Rover." I don't know how Obama's vast army of consultants had the time to create this game, but it's going to be fun. My favorite token? The silver spoon made out of real silver.