05/17/2012 09:22 am ET Updated Jul 17, 2012

Be Kind to Others to Be Kind to Yourself

Quit criticizing others. This unkind tool of self-motivation has proven to be an essential part of creating a united and healthy society in which all feel comfortable finding their own place. In the past few weeks, I have found that if you can accept your peers around you, acceptance of yourself becomes easier. It becomes your main goal.

However, stopping the habit of denouncing others is difficult -- it's something that most of us do more times than can be counted on one hand. Terminating this release of inner anger on those surrounding us is the epitome of something that's "easier said than done." The flaws we denounce in those around us -- the fingers we choose to point -- often reflect back on the things we loathe about ourselves. These are the insecurities we wish could evaporate into thin air! One who criticizes those around her about their weight is often insecure about her own physical appearance. But a person who is able to look into somebody's soul and realize how supportive they are, and see the friend they constantly prove to be or the self-respect they emanate, is able to look at themselves in a similar fashion. This negativity you pour out concerning somebody else's flaws will be alike a boomerang, and soon come back to paralyze your own happiness.

Your task is to become comfortable with the person YOU are and learning to have tolerance for the people your friends are becoming. Understand that being agitated with your fellow peers flaw's will become less and less of a worry in your life, the moment you allow it to. However, creating this self-assured atmosphere for yourself will take it's time. We must give time the respect it deserves, and allow nature to take its course.

Open yourself up to a world of understanding and appreciation for those who are a part of your life. A lifted burden will be taken off of your shoulders the second you do. Appreciate that our friends are just as much people as we are. They make mistakes. They hurt. They feel. They judge. They learn. However, despite the time it may take to reach the place you wish to be, constantly remind yourself that any step (no matter how small) is farther away from the place from which you started.