03/06/2012 03:19 am ET Updated May 05, 2012

The Bachelor' Recap: Women Tell All in 140 Characters or Less

The "Women Tell All" episode is a right of passage for viewers. ABC insists on making us sit through roughly one hour of B-roll footage we've already seen, 30 minutes of mind-numbing female bickering, 10 minutes of actual entertaining information and 20 minutes of Our Host Chris Harrison casually, yet masterfully tossing fuel on the fire before we are allowed to secure our bets and see who Ben will choose to be his betrothed for the next contractually obligated three months.

The show has never really delivered any moments of true drama since the day Jason Mesnick told Melissa, "I love you, just kidding." Last night's "Women Tell All" was no different. In the interest of saving both your time and mine, I decided to recap top moments by using the Twitter parameters of 140 characters or less.

You called me a stripper, but you took your clothes off on TV. However, I used Ben as a pole whilst dancing once. #potcallingkettleblack

Apologizing is hard. But crying fake tears is even harder. Kudos to me for not touching my hair! Tabloids are the devil. #15minfame=winning

I am super cute, smart, funny and a lyrical gangster. I totally dodged a bullet with Ben. Dimples are adorable. #domynipplesshowinthisdress

Grey is cool. Emily is hot. Jamie is challenged. Who is that chick on the end? I wish I was in Harrison's entourage. #canIborrowyourflatiron

These girls have mouths like sailors. Someone get me a stiff drink. I wonder if I can get that blogger to say tampon. #watchthemasteratwork

To see the entire recap, feel free to visit