04/24/2015 01:56 pm ET Updated Jun 24, 2015

Stop Being So Damn Committed

When you think of someone who is COMMITTED, you think of courage, determination, someone with a strong character and a stick-with-it-ness no matter what. Sounds pretty noble doesn't it?

But, there are times when I don't like commitment and how it plays out.

Like when someone's committed to a marriage even though it's all wrong for them. They stay committed because someone told them that marriage is forever, and so they do whatever it takes to fit that square peg into that round hole, no matter what.

If only we had the same sense of commitment to our own personal alignment, to our own happiness.

All relationships have their troublesome moments, and a commitment to work it out can be a good thing. We don't just run away when there's conflict.

But, somewhere along the way, we've been told that it's our duty to put up with and endure someone or a circumstance that is clearly at odds with us, and that drains our energy. We cling to the belief that we have marriage vows and kids to honor, no matter what.

I am on my third marriage. I got it right third time around. And I can honestly say that if my marriage ever caused me to be unhappy, I would NOT hesitate to leave.
  • If I ever felt that I could NOT be myself or be fully expressed, again
  • If I ever found myself walking on eggshells around anyone, again
  • If I ever felt unsafe, again
  • If I ever felt pinched and restricted, again
  • If I ever felt scared, again
  • If I ever felt depleted by someone else's energy, again
I would run away as fast as I could. I have come to honor that commitment to self is the only commitment that is true and right. And I believe this so deeply, because for years I wasted so much time trying to be harmonious with someone else instead of being harmonious with myself, and it left me feeling exhausted and depleted. Don't let cultural or religious commitments interfere with your alignment. Personal alignment is the only commitment you need to practice. The rest is all just man-made. Convincing others of your worth, and working hard at making relationships work... will cause you to lose your power. Nothing should be that hard. It is such a waste of your life. Choose happiness over commitment. Every time.