THE BLOG
09/25/2014 08:02 am ET Updated Nov 25, 2014

3 Oversights That Are Killing Your Dating Life -- And What You Can Do To Bring It Back From The Dead

Here are three oversights that are killing your dating life, especially if you are 50 or older, and what you can do to bring it back from the dead.

1. Dating falls flat when your dating mojo is missing.

As confident as you might feel at work -- and why wouldn't you be? You've been doing it forever and you've learned the tools and developed the resources that make you good at what you do -- this confidence doesn't translate to how you might feel today as a woman over 50 stepping into the dating world.

This part of your life means having to meet new men who might judge you or not like you. That can be pretty scary.

I've had clients who were powerhouses in their chosen fields. If you asked them what their confidence level was on a scale from 1 to 10, it would be 10+ but asked the same question about dating, the number often plummeted to 2 or even into negative numbers.

As we all know, our bodies and our faces have changed with age. In such a youth oriented culture, it's easy to forget just how amazing you really are at this time in your life.

And you really are! You have wisdom and a passion for life from knowing who you are and what you bring to the world.

This inner beauty is something that makes you glow from the inside out, enhancing your outer beauty. This whole package is something young women don't have yet.

It's also something men are highly attracted to in the women they want to date. Your job is to find your inner beauty and bring it out into the world for all to see.

2. You're only looking for a George Clooney type of guy who is handsome and rich and yet, you're finding his clone doesn't exist.

Last time you dated, chances are the guys you were attracted to looked a lot different than those faces you see online today.

The men of our youth were young, hot, had longer hair, toned bodies and handsome faces.

Where are they now? Well, I'll let you in on a secret... they are the over-50 men you see online with grey hair, glasses and bellies who want to date you.

And what you are probably thinking when you look at them is, my friends tell me I look young and these men look so old.

George and the men who look like him have one thing going for them you can see right away...they are handsome on the outside. But it doesn't mean they are great guys on the inside. That's a story we've made up in our heads. If they are beautiful, they must be the best.

It's not necessarily true. What's in a man's heart and how he treats a woman is what really counts. Some of those older looking, grey haired, fuddy-duddy types are amazing men that women pass over daily.

They may be far more fun, caring and loving than you think. Turn your over-50 dating life around by giving one of them a chance. He may turn out to be a great catch.

3. You expect to feel instant chemistry in order to go out with a man again.

Do you want to know what chemistry really is? It's a hormonal release that started back in the caveman days It meant this person was a potential mate for making strong babies that could survive the brutal elements of the time.

It's useful even today for young adults who are looking for their mate to build a life with including children, the dog and the house.

But over-50 dating is different. This part of your life is not about building like it was in your 20s. It's about finding someone to share a good life with who will make a great companion for you. And who will be there to support you and you support him... through both the good times and the challenging times that can come with aging.

It's worth adding this quality into the equation for figuring out your attraction factor after 50.

Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes over 50's dating fun and easy. Learn more about how to meet great guys over 50 at www.FindAQualityMan.com.

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