3 Things Worth Giving Up If You Want To Enjoy Dating Success In 2015

01/09/2015 06:59 am ET Updated Mar 11, 2015

1. Give Up Your Self-Defeating Attitude

How many times a day do you look in the mirror and criticize yourself, saying things like, "My butt looks too big in these pants," "I should really lose ten pounds," or "My neck is awful?"

I want you to know that doing this to yourself every single day -- dozens of times a day -- takes a toll on your psyche. You start believing the story you are telling yourself about how flawed you are, instead of how truly awesome you are as a woman over 50.

Try shifting this way of thinking by looking in your bathroom mirror every morning while telling yourself everything you either love about you or are grateful for about you in your life.

Exactly what does this mean? Let's use your arms as an example ... Unless you're pumping some serious weights on a regular basis, the shape of your arm is probably not what it was 20 years ago.

If you don't like the way your arms look, instead of focusing on them as flawed, tell yourself something like this, "I am so grateful for my arms because I'll be able to hug that wonderful man who is coming into my life who will love me just as I am."

I'll fill you in on a little secret ... Men don't pick you apart like you do to yourself. If they are attracted to you (and men are attracted to all types of women) then they have the ability to love the whole you and accept you just as beautiful as you are.

The real question is ... can you? When you finish reading this blog, go make a list of 10 things you love about you. Then go look in the mirror on a daily basis and remind yourself of how wonderful you really are.


2. Give Up Your Limiting Dating Beliefs About Available Men

Most women believe what makes a Quality Man is his ability to swoop her off her feet, wine and dine her at the best restaurants around town, and give her presents and a very wealthy lifestyle.

Now, I want to share a secret with you that you already know if you've been following my advice for a while. Money does not make a quality man. How a man treats you and how you feel around a man is far more important.

I have a former client who is very successful professionally, and she found herself madly in love with a man who is a male nurse. They have an amazing relationship and she feels she got the best guy in the world because he makes her feel absolutely loved, cherished and adored. Note those feelings have nothing to do with money or the fact that she earns more than he does.

Yet many professional women would have turned their noses up over this man, declaring anyone less than a doctor, lawyer or accountant wouldn't qualify as a quality man in their eyes.

Lots of men are online who are good men and want nothing more than to make you happy. The guy with the belly might make the greatest husband in the world. You just have to give them a chance.


3. Give Up Your Closed Heart So You Can Have The Relationship You Really Want

You probably want a quality man in your life so you no longer have to feel so alone anymore. Right? I get this. And intellectually, you can probably even visualize yourself with a man in your life.

But is your heart really open to allowing a great man to walk into your life?

One of the scariest times for my private clients is when it's time to date. I've seen women who told me they desperately wanted a man in their life suddenly want to quit dating. Why?

Because letting someone into your heart again is SCARY. You've probably been hurt in the past when it comes to love and it didn't feel very good, did it? So what do you do? You protect your heart, using excuses like, "I'm too busy to date," or "My grandchildren need me," or "There are no good men to date," and the list goes on.

Sometimes we can't even see how we are sabotaging our love life. I've spoken with women who tell me they've been on five dates and they couldn't find Mr. Right so they are ready to QUIT. It takes a lot of work to find the right man for you.

If you think he will show up on your first try, you're kidding yourself. This is why it's so important to have a support system in place to motivate you when the going gets tough. You want to have every dating tool and skill available to you in your dating tool box so you can keep moving forward.

That's why I'm dedicated to helping you get the tools and skills you need so you can find that relationship I know you want.

So to summarize, start loving you so a man can love you. See the possibilities and the abundance of men who are out there to date you. And open your heart so love can come to you.

I'd love to hear what you think in the comments.

Lisa Copeland is the best-selling author and dating coach who makes finding a great guy after 50 fun and easy. Learn more about the 5 Little Known Ways To Find A Quality Man at www.FindAQualityMan.com.

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