THE BLOG
02/05/2014 03:39 pm ET Updated Apr 07, 2014

Why I'm Embarrassed to Say 'I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom'

Whether to stay at home or choose to work while raising children is a tough choice. For the majority of women, unfortunately I don't think it's a choice at all. Perhaps that's why everyone asks me "What do you do for a living?" They just assume I have a paying job.

Now that I'm divorced and 53 after 22 years of marriage, I can't find a paying job. When I'm asked by future dates online what I do for a living, the answer usually ends up ending the future date. I don't have the income to bring to a potential partner. My income is alimony and Social Security for my autistic son. Unfortunately, caring for my son limits my employment opportunities being single. If I get remarried, I lose the income.

I have a diploma saying that I have BS in Finance which is 30-years-old and for all intent and purpose, a waste of paper.

When I go out with girlfriends, the same thing happens. "What do you do for a living?" "ah..." is my usual response because I don't know what else to say. I'm embarrassed that I'm not in middle or upper management somewhere because that's exactly where I wanted to be before I had kids.

I feel like I've lost my independence along with some (most) of my self-confidence. I want to be able to take care of myself and my son. And, quite honestly, I still have some ambition left. I want a meaningful career (where I get paid in U.S. dollars).

It's not that I'm not proud of the way I raised my children. Nor is there anything wrong with being a homemaker. I just believe that in today's society, it's not the norm. In reality, being a "stay-at-home mom" is awesome... if you know that you'll never get divorced. Just in case, plan ahead to ensure you receive a very good settlement.

Here is a shout out to all of the companies who hire based upon an online application.

I may not have the title of CEO on my resume, but... I do know that I can:

  • Balance a budget
  • Delegate responsibilities
  • Create a balance sheet
  • Provide an income statement
  • Cut costs when necessary
  • Make daily household managerial decisions
  • Make large financial decisions benefiting my organization
  • Train/instruct individuals in all areas of science, math, economics, and morality
  • Make a cost benefit analysis on any purchase and complete purchase orders
  • Cook, clean, do laundry, run errands, drive children to and from doctor appointments, manage medication, drive to cheer-leading practice, volleyball practice, gymnastics, handle all forms of insurance, etc.
  • Run computer programs from social networking to word processing and spreadsheets
  • Can self-publish a book, write a blog

.....and more!

Unfortunately, my paycheck doesn't reflect my responsibilities (ok, not everybody wants to read about my breast reconstruction). Who knew?

I tell my daughters, "Never give up your career!" I wish I had not.

I suppose I could go back to school, but I now have Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. I'm in somewhat of a predicament. What happens if a cure is found and I survive the cancer? Wouldn't that be funny? It is a real possibility. I'm ER positive. There's a lot of research going on there. The good news "I survived!" The bad news "I survived!" Did I mention my ex-husband is 71? Alimony one day will end.

Nobody can predict the future and I can't change the past. Do I believe my daughters would be as wonderful as they are had I returned to work? Yes, I do. Do I believe my son would have progressed to the level he is at today? No, I don't. So, in retrospect, maybe I need to change my attitude from embarrassment to pride.

"What do I do for a living? I'm a mom!" Sorry... still working of the attitude change, but, I'm not there yet. And, I'm still looking for job.

For more information about Lisa Masters visit:https://www.build-a-boob.com

Facebook: Buildaboob after the cure.