THE BLOG
11/28/2016 07:19 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Why It's Not Business As Usual For Either Winners Or Losers In This Election

It's hard right now for a lot of us. There's plenty of fear, masked as anger, going around, whether you feel like a winner or a loser in this election. No one seems to feel satisfied. And certainly no one feels content, not even the winners. Why is that?

Because it's time to redefine winning and losing. Really, isn't that the message that we all just received? That business as usual is not working. Is not acceptable. Maybe that's the whole point. It certainly is what a lot of us feared -- that there could be no clear winner when the people in this country were so polarized. When even the winners don't feel satisfied, it's not business as usual. Getting rid of these definitions that are either win or lose, that is the first thing that needs to be addressed. The binary system is being indicted and its conviction appears to be guaranteed.

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Both winners and losers are feeling depression and anger hitting hard with these results. And many of us are swinging wildly from one side of the pendulum to the other. The depression is typically characterized by "there's nothing I can do". The anger, on the other hand, is characterized by "I will not accept things, I will not!" And, I repeat, these are the emotional responses on both sides of the election results. http://fertility-news.rmact.com/path-to-fertility-blog/peaceful-warrior-dr-martin-luther-king-jr

What if both were actually true? That there is nothing you can do and that you do not have to accept things as they are. And what if everything in-between was also true?


Fear is what lies below all of it, especially anger. There's even more fear underneath rage.

That's the fact that I see, fear staring me in the face, distorting my mirror. Sometimes that fear looks like it's sticking it's tongue out at me, mocking me, as in a nightmare. And sometimes that fear is also hope and it looks so quiet and small, it looks like it's barely breathing.

What it comes down to, is that this is not the time for business as usual. Being afraid of each other is not a reason to stop speaking to each other. Here's a declarative statement: if you call someone an idiot or tell them they're ignorant, guess what. They stop listening. Just like you would. Just like I would. It's not the way to have a conversation. It's not the way to be heard. It's not effective to change anyone's mind and it makes it impossible to find compromise. And unless we want a civil war, with the winners taking their spoils and the losers creating a grand, new nation, we will have to find a way to meet. A way to see ourselves in the mirror, distorted as it may seem. They are us.

Bottom line is that our usual, familiar response to crisis is not acceptable in this time and place. It's time to look hard, within ourselves for a few things, so that getting out of bed in the morning is a possibility, so that we can live in this country without killing each other.

Forget the philosophical. Here's how to do it.

Three crucial elements to work with:
1. purpose
2. motivation
3. action

Purpose -- what is driving you? What are you willing to put your time, effort and heart into? Be willing to identify your strongest dissatisfaction and also your deepest desire. Open your heart, now, and listen to what it has to say. Even and especially, the most basic or silly sounding. This may be the time to stick with your expertise or the time to investigate something you know little about but always wanted to know more about. To make a difference, start from a strong foundation -- your own deep interest. We need to be willing to be authentic on what's essential to us.

Motivation -- how do you fuel your purpose? Do you read, listen, look? Do you take a run, a walk, a bath? What keeps you going? Who do you trust to guide you, inspire you?This could be a person, an organization, a news source. It might be the anti-motivation that truly gets you going. What you don't want in your life or in our world. How do you support your purpose and keep the power and energy so that you can act?

Action -- What steps do you take? Action steps are essential, even if micro baby steps. Volunteer. Donate. Protest. Write. Protect. Do you want to go and protest or anti protest? Do you want to create art that reveals a new reality? Do you want to wear clothing that shows your support for groups of people that you feel are at risk? Do you want to write? Do you want to make 100 phone calls a day to ensure that your message is received? Take the smallest step and then take another one. We all need to take action to avoid the depression that comes from "I can't".

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It's time for something new. We can grow from all of this, learn how to engage in respectful discourse, even and especially when the other side isn't. Then it's even more important. http://fertility-news.rmact.com/path-to-fertility-blog/infertility-failure-is-not-the-only-game-in-town

We all need to understand that it's the time for us all to participate in creating the country, culture and world that we live in, whether on the winning side. Or the losing side.

It's not business as usual.

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