THE BLOG
08/31/2016 09:47 pm ET Updated Sep 01, 2017

5 Mistakes You're Making That Affect Your Quality of Life

The truth is, and this might surprise you, but no one can guarantee you anything unless you take full responsibility for your own growth and success. There isn't a person on earth, that can hand you a blueprint to "the secrets to success" in any aspect of your life. They can guide or assist you, but in the end it's you that has to want it bad enough to do the work.

There are 7 billion people on this planet and yet there are way too many people unwilling to release the old story, align with their core values, be brazen enough to chase their goals and an epic life experience, for anyone to make you such a promise.

They are not ready to step up, commit to improving their situation, invest in themselves emotionally and financially, and willing to try new ideas. And you know what? That sucks for them because their potential will be wasted.

If you are ready to make your dreams a reality, here is what you need to do:

Stop making excuses or playing the victim - I have two things to say about this. 1) There is nothing to gain by arguing in favor of your own limitations. 2) Every time you make an excuse a baby unicorn dies and there is less magic in the world. I don't know about you, but I'm a little bit woo and a heaping helping of tough love.

As much as I want you the reader, a client or any human really, to be their best version, I also never want you to forget that there are parts of you that are pure magic. You need to find that magic, practice it and only then will you stop hurting baby unicorns and blaming yourself for "mistakes" and bad shit that seems to keep on happening to you.

Stop living by someone else's rules to fit in - you can't maximize your desires or results when you're trying to fit in. Standing out from a crowd of the good girls following the rules will not happen if you fear your own amazingness. Do not be afraid to be different, weird, geeky, or an oddball. If you seek change, be that change or difference.

If you want to say that something pisses you off, yell it from the roof tops. I've dedicated a whole interview series to saying the things we're not supposed to say. Frankly, I care more about speaking the truth than being polite. I provide a platform for the people who feel the same to speak uncensored.

I believe that censoring your soul-driven purpose and gifts will smother that fire within you. Knock that shit off. Right now. You were born to be great, do and have great things. Quit denying yourself the chance create a life that lights you up. Do it your way, on your own terms and above all else, be unapologetic for it.

Stop focusing on insignificant and meaningless shit - people, events, relationships, anything that does not feed your mind or advance your goals needs to be let go or given a lot less attention.

Change or at the very least vary who you hanging out with. Just because you went to grade school with someone and they live nearby doesn't mean that they are good for your life. Ask yourself who the people that lift you up are in your current circle. Actually write it down. Create a two column list on a piece of paper. Separate it into people who add to your life and people who do not.

No, you don't have to dump your friends. You simply need to hang around the "adders" more than the "subtractors". Be radically honest here. It's a shitty thing to list the flaws of your "friends", but a necessary evil if you want a better life experience.

It is never ever selfish to want more for yourself. Please believe that. If people in your life don't support that belief, well, they've just made their own argument as to why they ought to go on the subtractors list, and probably need to be cut loose.

Feed your mind something positive every day. Read a book that makes you better. Have a positive conversation with someone you respect. Write gratitudes in a journal. Start each day with an intention or goal. Praise yourself at the end of each day for what you were great at (no matter how big or small). Connect with a mentor that is where you want to be, whether that person be a thought leader or someone you are paying for guidance.

Know. Your. Self.
- self awareness, mindset and the kindness you extend to yourself is 90% of the battle. Where you live emotionally effects everything in your life. Your mindset and beliefs towards yourself, others and the world at large rank right up there. This means that if these things are not in check, your actions are less than they could be. If your self-worth is in the crapper, you're not very likely to act upon your inspirations or bust through your upper limits.

Make "friends" with the bitch in your head
- You know the voice - it's you but it's not you....and sometimes you agree with it. She (a.k.a the bitch in your head) thrives on providing toxic advice and sabotaging thoughts to your consciousness.

That inner critic rears her ugly head to protect you when fear or anxiety comes up around things she considers a risk. Big or small she likes reinforcing doubt and lies and negativity, all the while smugly staring you down like a damn reject.

Bottom line - she's a liar. Biggest liar you will ever meet. She counts on shaming you and showing you every possibility of "why not". She tells you that you're stuck or stupid or not worthy.

When we understand our inner critic for what it really and truly is, a relentless, misguided protector: we become mindful of how we relate to her. We can turn that critic on her head and bend her to our will, instead of letting her run the show.

Now, go slay your day (and life)!

Thanks for reading! I'm Lisa Schmidt, a Re-Start Coach for Women, word nerd, mom and creator of Uncomfortable Conversations. Let's connect. Drop a comment below, find me on Facebook or grab this awesomeness: Understanding Your Inner Critic, my free download that will help you to unsubscribe from all of the shoulds, dont's, cant's and told you so's you tell yourself.