THE BLOG
08/12/2014 02:14 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Middle Ages

Middle age is a truthful, fairly unattractive term for, I guess, where I am in my life as we speak. I'm 43 years old and those two little words seem to surround me lately.

Like, you know when you hear "Hungry Like the Wolf" three times in one day or swear the same episode of Modern Family is on every time you try and get into it?

Yep. That's me with middle age right now.

  • At the doctor's office. "Now that you've entered middle age you can start taking these multi-vitamins along with fish oil and vitamin E."
  • At the salon. "Looks like we'll have to do your color along with your cut every time you come in now. That happens once you hit middle age, all that "sparkle" on top!"
  • At an audition. I do theatre and film and am now reading for the "mom" or the "middle aged friend." Or the "middle aged mom friend."

Don't get me wrong I know I'm getting older. It happens -- and certain things do happen that make me feel like I fit the profile.

Like...

Reading. I notice myself as well as most everyone around me pulling books, magazines and especially smart phones waaay down almost to my knees to read if I don't have my glasses handy. Because apparently once you hit 40-something you start to go blind. Awesome.

Bedtime. Remember going out on a work night? Seeing a band, catching a movie, having a cocktail? Yeah, that's not really happening too much anymore. I'm in bed my at 9:30 falling asleep while reading my favorite book... a trashy magazine. Grandma's gotta get up for work in the morning.

Trampoline place. I went to one of those trampoline places with my boys and had a blast jumping, leaping and bouncing off the walls with them, pretending I was the cheerleader that I never was in high school. Until the next morning, when I literally couldn't walk and had to go to the chiropractor to get two vertebrae popped back into place. Seriously.

Television characters that are "too loud." Sorry Fairly Odd Parents, T.U.F.F. Puppy and Johnny Test, you all bother me. Be quiet. Stop yelling. You're bothering this middle aged woman. Also, those "Kids Bop" CD commercials (I just have so many questions as to why these exist) and a rapping Reese's breakfast cereal ad make me feel beyond ancient.

Pigtails. It's official folks, I'm too old to get away with it anymore.

But here's the deal -- I don't feel like I'm in the throes of middle age-dom; I don't feel like my life is half over. In fact, I feel like it's half full. My life is full of really good stuff, minus the above mentioned cartoon characters.

And the fact that I really have to watch myself on our next trip to the trampoline place.

2014-08-12-trampoline.JPG

Leaving the jumping to the experts.

Lori's website, Drawn to the 80's, is where her 5-year old draws the music hits of the 1980's. Her blog, Once Upon a Product, is where she obsesses about important things like food, beauty products and Mick Jagger.