05/05/2014 12:27 pm ET Updated Jul 05, 2014

Top 10 Quirky Behaviors of Men and Women

Thomas Barwick via Getty Images

I've never bought the "Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus" shtick, but there are definitely some behaviors that are unique to each sex. I'm not talking about the obvious -- women spending hours applying make-up and primping before they leave the house or men taking their "morning constitutional." What I have in mind are innocent differences of the type Jerry Seinfeld would incorporate into a stand-up routine.

Here are some of my favorite odd behaviors that one sex engages in and the other would not be caught dead doing:

What Men Do:
• Pretend they watched sporting events when they didn't see just to seem cool to their friends.
• Wear T-shirts that are wrinkled, holey, and inside out.
• Grunt while lifting weights whether they need to or not.
• Smoke cigars and drink port to be manly.
• Helicopter into some godforsaken outback to fly fish with their buddies.
• Claim they're 6 feet, when they're really 5'9".
• Forget their wedding anniversary, Valentine's Day, and their wife's birthday.
• Show up in a gourmet restaurant with uncombed hair, wearing smelly jeans.
• Use the port-a-potty without getting grossed out.
• Not get bent out of shape when they check into a B&B and find out the bathroom is down the hall.
• Blow snot out of their noses and share it with the world.

What Women Do:
• Stay home because they have nothing to wear to the party.
• Engage in retail therapy.
• Get upset because they're having a bad hair day.
• Slink to the back in a group photo because they look too fat.
• Wait to go to the bathroom until their girlfriends need to go.
• Celebrate their girlfriends' birthdays by dining out and bringing gifts.
• Wear "cute" shoes that permanently deform their feet.
• Join a business networking group to make new girlfriends.
• Post pictures of their pets on Facebook.
• Remodel the kitchen just because .

Weigh in with your favorite sex-specific idiosyncrasies.