01/25/2013 03:00 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Weeklings! : Why Mariah Carey Always Beats Nicki Minaj (VIDEO)

Emergency: It seems like American Idol viewers are responding more to Nicki Minaj than to Mariah Carey. This is unspeakable.

Mariah is the best, pseudo-craziest music legend we have. We need to respect her and everything she stands for, and that means tearing down Nicki Minaj at all costs. In this edition of Weeklings!, I teach you about why Nicki is inferior to Mariah, why Mariah is a bronze goddess sent from planet Mimi, and why I laugh at Nicki supporters. Sigh. Ryan Seacrest is losing his tan from all this shade.


You can find previous Weeklings! episodes here.