08/20/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Ask Maddisen - How To Enjoy The Wisdom Of Your Inner Child

Dear Maddisen:
Lately, I've been pondering the idea of my 'inner child' and feeling the desire to spend more time with him. I've benefited from the inner child work I've done over the years, based on the approaches of several renowned experts in the field, and am curious to know if you also have an approach for connecting with our little ones.
Thanks, HT

Dear HT,
Yes, I love interacting with the little ones, and am happy to share a simple approach that I use with my clients and with myself. I believe we are born with pure wisdom and that we have more direct access to it as little children.

I often assist my clients in enjoying the wisdom of their little ones, especially when they need clarity in confusing or frustrating situations. In turn, I strongly encourage my clients to nurture a continuous bond of love and presence with their little ones so that they know they are loved, heard, and cared for unconditionally, and that they have a direct connection at all times. Through this full experience of love and integration, we may experience profound healing and a deep sense of inner peace.

My little one is suggesting that I keep this column simple and to-the-point, so here we go!

Note: HT, since you are a male, I will use "he" in the following process. Female readers, just replace "he" with "she" where applicable.


Step 1 - Hug yourself
Sit alone in a quiet and undisturbed place. Take several deep breaths, and feel your breath in your entire body -- from head to toes.

Wrap your arms around yourself in a loving hug.

Step 2 - Talk and listen
Speaking aloud in a loving voice, say "hi" to your inner child and let him know that you'd like to have a talk. Be still.

Ask him what he needs. Give your inner child plenty of room and time to express himself. If it's been a while since he's had your ear, he may have lots to say, and he may say it with direct and childlike honesty. Really listen. Respond to your little one's requests. Engage in loving conversation.

If you brought up a situation you're having difficulty with, ask for your inner child's wisdom. Does he have any advice for you? Again, listen carefully.

Step 3 - Say "I love you"
When you both feel complete and there's nothing more to talk about, ask your inner child if he needs anything else from you. Listen and respond.

Thank your little one, tell him you love him, and that you are always there with him.

Stay connected
Your experiences may vary. You may even get impressions or visual images of your inner child. And if you continue to check in with your little one by talking or just hugging or sending love, there's a very good chance you will notice feeling an overall sense of wholeness, safety, and calm.

Dear HT, I hope this approach gets you reconnected with your wise and wonderful inner child. For my readers who have never done inner child work before, feel free to follow the approach outlined in this column, however, you may find that you want to enlist the support of a coach or counselor -- at least the first few times.

I read that author Leo Buscaglia once judged a contest to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

Deeply touching healing of this type is available to all of us at any time. Simply sit with your inner child in your own lap, express what comes forward, listen, and allow for your mutual love and intimacy to deeply comfort, heal, and connect you.

Your Coach, Maddisen

Submit your questions for "Ask Maddisen" to

Let us hear your thoughts -- include your COMMENTS below.

Copyright 2009 Maddisen K. Krown