THE BLOG
09/30/2015 03:04 pm ET Updated Sep 30, 2016

Searching for More Happiness?

In all the years I've been coaching, there's been and continues to be one strong theme that exists with almost every client. That is, their desire to become happier. Here, in the UK some believe that happiness is about having a curry and beer on a Friday evening. Okay, not everyone is of this opinion, but many Brits are. I too would like to be happier. That's not to say I'm unhappy. Far from it, I take great pleasure in my work, my marriage and my desire to improve myself. In saying that, a little more happiness would not go amiss.

Apart from guiding others, amongst other things, about how they can become happier, my own desires have become less apparent. What I mean is happiness is not always top of my mind. Somehow, helping others to have a better life has redirected the focus away from my desires and towards being of service. Therefore, my personal development has kind of taken a back seat. Okay, I still continue to take care of myself, eat healthily, keep fit, read avidly and research. Do those aspects of taking care of me make me happier? I don't think so - I do think they prevent unhappiness creeping in to my consciousness.

The whole area of happiness is not totally understood by the general public. Somehow many believe that quick-fixes enable us to be happier. Research has discovered that almost every quick-fix, including miracle diets, don't work in the long run. In saying that, it's as if we all become addicted to the illusion that happiness is within easy reach. I'd say that happiness is in within reach, albeit not easily so. In essence, it's to do with discovery. Yes, first we need to discover what makes us truly happy. For some, the joy of watching their children grow, for others their retirement. For me, I'm happiest when I am fulfilling my purpose.

In part, my aim is to teach, guide and clearly communicate that with the awareness of our purpose, self belief is buoyed. It also encourages us to convey our passion more authentically. In addition, it provides huge meaning to our lives. Although I don't have the remedy for finding more happiness. Only you have that, just look deeply within to discover it. To locate your happiness button, ask yourself what sends a ripple of deep satisfaction through your being. Then, consider the times when your self esteem is at its highest. Furthermore, when did you last feel at peace, calm and without worry or stress?

The answers to these questions, will enable authentic happiness to manifest with greater ease. In short, being the Best Version of you: kind, empathetic, considerate, compassionate, optimistic and personable, etc. I was asked if having all of these qualities is ideal. Yes, it is ideal, so by just developing one of these is a great place to start. And like an addiction, you'll become desirous of attaining more of these qualities. Remember, any actions we take in the affirmative become a part of who we are. Also, our self awareness grows stronger. And remember, the better we know ourselves the better we become at knowing who we authentically are. And happiness will follow.

Some tips:

-To discover more happiness begin by looking inside, not outside

-Spend time considering what makes you authentically happy

-Do your best to avoid spending time around negative people

-Giving to others unconditionally makes us happier

-Luck has a part in being happier, just make sure you are in when it comes calling

-Remember, material wealth is not the answer to becoming happier

-Know you have all the answers about knowing how to be happier