02/17/2015 06:23 pm ET Updated Apr 19, 2015

How to Be the Next Cast Member of 'SNL'

With the exceptionally popular 40-year anniversary/retrospective event this last weekend, Saturday Night Live fever is gripping the United States and abroad. The following seven-point guide will help you pick a stage name that seemingly will increase your likelihood of being cast as the next member of the gang.

  1. If you are male, pick one of these first names: Chris, Jim, Rob or Mike. Chris cast members include Chris Elliott, Chris Farley, Chris Kattan, Chris Parnell, Chris Rock, and Christopher Guest. The "Jims" include Jim Belushi, Jim Breuer, Jim Downey, and Jimmy Fallon. There are four Michael/Mikes, including Mike Meyers, Michael Che, Michael'Odonoghue, and Mike O'Brien. Robs include Rob Shneider, Robert Downey, Jr., Robert Riggle and Robert Smigel.
  2. If you are female, pick the name Julia (Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Julia Sweeney) or a name that rhymes (Cheri Oteri).
  3. If you want to be more unusual, pick a first name that will only be connected with SNL (Chevy Chase and Gilda Radner). Other unique cast names include: Beck, Brooks, Danitra, Finesse, Horatio, Kenan, Morwenna, and Taran.
  4. Don't pick a name that starts with I, O, Q, U, X, Z. There are simply none such names on past cast lists.
  5. Pick a unisex name, like Dana Carvey, A. Whitney Brown, Robin Duke, and Tracy Morgan.
  6. As far as last names, Irish origin seems to help, or really anything from the British Isles. Irish and Scottish surnames on the cast have included Moynihan, Doyle-Murray, Quinn, McKinney, Mooney, O'Donoghue, O'Brien, Macdonald, Fallon, and Killarn.
  7. If your first name is on the more common side, pick something more unusual for a surname, ala Poehler, Wiig, and Fey. Or pick a last name that is also a "word name," such as Hall, Crystal, Rock, Guest, Spade, Wolf, Curtin, Short, Hall, and Forte.

So where does this leave us? Here are 10 stage suggestions for your new career in comedy:

  • Robbie Block
  • Jimmy Stack
  • Chris Fray
  • Mike Romeo
  • Othello Rocket
  • Julia O'Leary
  • Mallie Shellaigleigh
  • Madison Jones
  • Taylor Fink
  • Beverly Hills

Of course, if you are not funny, don't have a good agent, or didn't go to school with a member of Lorne Michaels' family, you are out of luck.

Here is a toast to the first names from the last 40 years of SNL:

Alan Whitney, Abby, Adam, Al/Alan, Amy, Ana, Andy, Ann, Anthony
Beck, Ben, Beth, Bill/Billy, Bobby, Brad, Brian, Brooks
Casey, Cecily, Charles, Cheri, Chevy, Chris/Christopher, Christine, Colin
Damon, Dan, Dana, Danitra, Darrell, David, Dean, Dennis, Denny, Don
Eddie, Ellen, Emily
Finesse, Fred
Gail, Garrett, Gary, George, Gilbert, Gilda
Harry, Horatio
Jan, Jane, Janeane, Jason, Jay, Jeff, Jenny, Jerry, Jim/Jimmy, Joan, Joe, John/Jon, Julia
Kate, Kenan, Kevin, Kristen, Kyle
Laraine, Laura, Laurie, Leslie
Mark, Martin, Mary, Matthew, Maya, Melanie, Michael/Mike, Michaela, Molly, Morwenna
Nancy, Nasim, Noel, Nora, Norm
Pamela, Patrick, Paul, Pete/Peter, Phil
Rachel, Randy, Rich, Rob/Robert, Robin
Sarah, Sasheer, Set, Siobhan
Taran, Terry, Tim, Tina, Tom, Tony, Tracy
Vanessa, Victoria