10/15/2012 03:13 am ET Updated Dec 14, 2012

Sex 101

Having re-entered the dating world after a twelve year marriage that ended abruptly and traumatically in divorce, I wanted a new and improved sex life as I moved forward. As with most long-term relationships, sex had become predictable and a bit formulaic. I wanted to be a sex goddess, but a brief review of the books and porn flicks at the Hustler Store did not provide the information that I had in mind.

Walking down Melrose one day in Los Angeles, I ran into a boutique that sold high-end luxury sex products. Housed in a former townhouse with a lush garden and fountain, it stocked vibrators made of sterling silver, oils from Asia, Belgian lace corsets, nipple tassels and much more. A beautiful saleswoman was explaining some of the products to me and mentioned that they ran a series of exclusive, expensive tutorials limited to twelve women and taught by an expert from San Francisco. Eureka! This was exactly what I needed to expand and update my bedroom knowledge in a refined setting. I forked over the tuition fee on the spot for a seminar entitled "The Art of the Joystick."

The evening arrived for my class and I was insanely excited. The store was closed, and chairs were arranged around a velvet couch and a table full of props. The other students were younger than I, mostly in their 30's, attractive, and, like me, were intent on learning a few new tricks. After gulping some champagne that was offered to loosen us up and help us to feel more comfortable, we sat down and the teacher was introduced.

Marika was a plain Asian woman, probably in her mid-forties, with long brown hair and dressed in very conservative attire. She began the lecture by asking us to call out various nicknames for the penis, which she wrote on a plain white board. This was a brilliant opener -- it made us relax, laugh and feel comfortable with the subject. Then she got down to business.

Each of us was given a cucumber, a lubricated pad and a condom. She demonstrated the sexy way to apply the condom by mouth. Then she had each of us practice the technique. She obviously had an Ivy League degree in pleasure.

The two hours passed all too quickly. I was looking forward to doing my homework and mastering these new tricks. But most importantly, it was empowering to know that I still wanted to have an active and fun sex life and was open to learning something new and different.