06/07/2012 10:28 am ET Updated Aug 07, 2012

Silicon Valley Is Bachelorville -- And The New York Times Wants To Help

It's been a while since the New York Times produced a really spectacular example of the non-trend trend piece, so Alex Williams' "Bachelorville's Big Fish" this morning was a treat. The point of the article seems to be two-fold: to underscore how predominantly male Silicon Valley is, in case you were not already apprised of that fact, and to help these guys get dates.

After praising the young gents in Fitzgeraldian terms -- they are, according to the article, striving to make it big "before the next crop of dreamers arrives" -- and noting that, "[f]or all the inroads that female power brokers ... have made, the upper echelon of the tech world remains largely a male domain" (earlier this week the paper of record helpfully reminded us, "Men invented the Internet"), the piece devolves into what can best be described as a menu of techland's prime meat. The article's URL unfortunately, and aptly, begins with the words "public-offerings."

The list starts with the disclaimer that this roster of Silicon Valley's most eligible bachelors is "unscientific," lest you think that one of these men created an algorithm that calculates mathematically who should be on it and ranks them accordingly. As the piece proceeds, it becomes clear that the Times has overlooked a significant business opportunity: composing online dating profiles. Williams lays it on thick on these guys' behalf -- they probably owe him a beer. Former Facebook employee turned venture capitalist Matt Cohler is "lonely in the brownstone that he recently bought in downtown Manhattan, which he has decorated with works by Richard Avedon and Vienna Secession-period furniture." Matt Mullenweg, founder of WordPress and Automattic, is "the boyish blond with the snowboarder stubble." Tony Hsieh, who started (shoes, Ladies, shoes!), "has a colorful-enough personality to keep things interesting."

So ... any takers? Did the Times open your eyes to the huge number of desirable, available men in Silicon Valley? Or did it just make you wish the the paper would write your OKCupid profile?