THE BLOG
01/13/2016 03:59 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Can a Song Charge Up Your Current Love Relationship or the One to Be?

When an outstanding performer meets a great song, magic happens. The piece of music ends up going through eras as ageless. Think of the late Michael Jackson for instance.

2016-01-13-1452708272-4163175-Michael_Jackson.jpg

Over the years his songs have become immortal and for good reasons. The King of Pop took the music art form to a whole new level with his ground-breaking albums and show performances. As a result, many of us find ourselves singing along or jumping to our feet at the very first notes of a Michael Jackson tune. Need more proof?

Think of the hit "Man in The Mirror" for instance. You may not recognize the title but you sure know the chorus:

"If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change"

Beyond MJ's voice, moves and catchy beat, we think there's something deeper that strikes our soul whenever we hear those lyrics: the truth of it. There is a timeless truth in the fact that all changes start with our own self. And so it is with relationships. Here's a few tips we can all gain from when we apply that principle in our relationships, whether we are currently in one or hoping to find a new one soon.

Challenge our scenarios
Let's face it relationships can be complicated. We're humans and each of us has his or her own set of beliefs, particularities and intricacies. So often times in a new or established relationship we tend to question or second-guess the other person's motives. We're looking back at a situation and start making scenarios by asking ourselves questions like "I wonder if that's what he meant when he said...?" or "Did she really think that was great or was she implying that I could have done better?" And so our unconstructive imagination goes on and on... Ever been there? Whenever we find ourselves in one of those situations, we just stop and challenge those scenarios immediately by going to our partner and simply ask for clarity. This avoids carrying uncertainty in the relationship, which leads only to trouble down the road. What we also found is that more often than not, what we had imagined is far from the reality.

Change the way we look at things
This one is not from us but from the late Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, whom we loved. To paraphrase him, Dr. Dyer used to say, "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Isn't that a great one for any relationship? Instead of looking at what we find annoying in the other, why not focus on the good stuff? And after a little while, notice how the other will start to transform... in your own eyes!

See yourself as WORTHY
Here's what several of us are very good at: the beat up game. The individuals who fall in that category were often raised in a diminishing environment where "good" was never "good enough" and in which they were tagged as the pitfall makers, the ones responsible for anything gone wrong. Certainly getting rid of that type of baggage can take years for anyone. But the fact of the matter is, it can be lethal for any relationship. We tell anyone afflicted by that "disease" to start seeing themselves as WORTHY:

Wow -- Optimistic -- Real -- Thing -- Hallowing -- You

* * * * * *

Authors and relationship coaches Diane and Mario Cloutier found each other in 1998 after they both had experienced unfulfilling relationships. Their new book, Relovenship™ - Look Within to Love Again! (Xclamat!on Media, 2015) gives inspiration, hope and a step-by-step methodology to people who have had romantic disappointments and are still looking to find "the one." Mario Cloutier is founder and chief creative officer of Xclamat!ion Marketing. Diane Sawaya Cloutier enjoyed a successful career in managerial roles with Fortune 500 organizations before focusing fulltime on the couple's ReLovenship™ book and seminars. For booking inquiries or to learn more about the authors, go to ReLovenship.com.