11/05/2010 04:35 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

10 Best Topical Jokes of the Week

© 2010 Image created for Mark Miller by Nancy DeFrance

A new study shows that smoking two packs a day more than doubles a person's chances of developing Alzheimer's. This was based on a survey of smokers who've forgotten who they are and where they live.

A man in North Dakota was arrested after he allegedly shot a urinal in a local bar. In his defense, the urinal had been making threatening gestures.

It was announced this week that the cast of Glee will be putting out a Christmas album this year. The title: "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Fortune from Syndication."

On Tuesday, a police officer in New York City, who stopped an armed robbery at the salon where she was getting her hair done, was promoted to detective. And given a free color treatment.

Military officials said Tuesday that a computer failure caused a break in communication with 50 nuclear missiles at Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming during the weekend for about 45 minutes. Fortunately, the tech support guy in India was able to help.

European military officials are testing new "blast boxers," which are armored underwear that protects the groin from shrapnel. Another group expressing interest -- wives who aren't in the mood.

A Chinese scientific research center has built the fastest supercomputer ever made, beating out the U.S. This computer is so fast, you've already owned it for two years.

Several entrepreneurs are buying up thousands of internet domain names related to marijuana, hoping to resell the names once marijuana laws relax. I myself am the proud new owner of OhManI'mSoWastedPlusI'

Oprah Winfrey said this week that her new cable network, OWN, will be "fun and entertaining without tearing people down and calling them bitches." Talk show host Jerry Springer responded, "What's your point?"

The Transportation Security Administration said that starting Thursday it will change the way it manually searches passengers. The new process will include an agent running his or her hand up the inside of a passenger's leg. Rock star Courtney Love stated she's used a similar technique on the men she dates for years.